Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Broken light.

Last night I slept on the other side of my king-sized bed, which was extremely unusual thing for me to do. Every time I slept on my usual side of bed, I know I'm at the right place, and I fall asleep just like any other nights. But last night, felt like a new place, out of place, misplaced.

I can feel the coldness of the mattress. I can't smell my own smell but only the smell of someone who just left me, alone in the coldness and the darkness of the night.

I have never felt so alone for the longest time. So alone I can hear my own heartbeats. Apart, unaccompanied, unattended.

I feel like I'm an exile in my own world.

Life, is fragile. Identity, is fragile. Heart, is fragile. Just like glass; once broken, and even then mended, can never and will never look the same, anymore. But we live with the facts.

Someone told me,

"You make daring choices all the time. In fact, you are the most daring person I've ever known. If you can make those kind of choices, you have to live with the consequences."

Lightning struck once. Lightning struck twice. Lightning will never stop striking you, but once it stops, it's gone forever.

Right now, I just want to stop writing and isolate and detach myself from everyone. My light is BROKEN.

Dem mi!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

:( one of your saddest posts ever. sorry to hear about this but as sorrow as how these words reflects your feelings, i hope u would stay strong.

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