Thursday, February 25, 2010

Of commitment - RELATIONSHIP 101 (Final Part)

This last part goes to everyone, especially myself.





I think this is by far the hardest to do.


Ego, that's why.

Have you heard of this saying, "You TASTE but you don't FEEL, you LOOK but you don't SEE, you HEAR but you don't LISTEN."

Even so often we are tripped by our own superego. Instead of using logical brain and reasoning, we failed to activate the Emotional Intelligence domain, and here comes the Defense Mechanism.


Who listens? Who talks?

Not only listening is a very hard thing to get used to, but talking is equally essential.

While listening we need to do some reasoning, talking needs to be done with a proper manner and to make sure the message is properly delivered (using the right words, intonation, facial expression etc.).

Communicate, people. There's a sender (talk), there's a receiver (listen), there's a message (content). Voilla! That's two-way communication.

Put/show a little bit more trust

There's a reason why I said "Put/show a little bit more trust." Let me tell ya, every time you have doubt (trust issue) to your partner, it's always a first bad intuition. Most of the times fights broke out because of distrust/doubt. And when you find out that your partner is right, you feel embarrassed and you refuse to say sorry. Then you fight again. Heh.

Next time just be a little bit more generous and kind, and put/show a little bit more trust to your partner. Don't treat them like they're your children. They're big enough, even if they break your trust, it's not your fault. You gave what they ask for, which is to trust them. At the end of the day you have nothing to lose and you still hold your integrity.

Give some space Let him/her take her own space

This is again a matter of being protective-cum-possessive.

First you protect, regardless you're the man or the woman (we protect each other in our own different ways) but here what happens when we stepped a bit too far. We become possessive. We assume that we have the rights to the other half. We think we possess them.


Look man, no one is belonged to anyone. Don't feel so powerful and think you own everything. Even I am belonged to only my Creator, my God.

Even to use "Give some space" is still inappropriate for me. I don't own the space. I shall change it to, "Let him/her take her own space." That makes more sense.


Even I have a problem with this. I'm so affected by my career that every time I commit into a project/task/work/career, I will give 100%. I stay over the office, I get back late, I prepare, I put everything in to make sure the result is none other than a success.

Even I belief relationship is like a business venture, a partnership in a business. There will be arguments, excitements and all sorts, but instead of making it intense, make it fun.


Commit gradually. Don't straight away commit to (for example) cook for your soon-to-be boyfriend every day and night, buy her flowers every dinner time, things like that. Do it step by step, so that you don't feel the pressure or pressured by your own actions.

More importantly, start commit more on the fundamentals (communication, trust, honesty, respect, dependability) rather than physical or monetary contributions. Build a solid foundation, then only you build the whole building and lastly, decorate it.


Two of the most difficult attributes to sustain are i) hardworking (or rajin) and, ii) patience (or bersabar).

I tell you, even if these two qualities are being used to other things (sports, entrepreneurial, arts, you name it) God knows where all of us can be by now.

Every time we feel like quitting, take a step (or few) back and look again. Don't always jump to the conclusion without rationalise your decision. No one's perfect. If you think you're being the only one dealing with patience-impatience issue, take it as a practice to buck up your emotional intelligence.

Patience is virtue, my young Padawan.

Appreciate the little things

I think I'm a champion for the League of Little Things in Relationship. I mean, the whole relationship, not my private parts. That's for you to find out anyway.

Tell me, is it not true that no matter how sweaty your boyfriend is after a futsal session, you still give him a hug. How about morning smooches before both of you even brush your teeth? Remember when you are in period pain and he had to go to the mart and buy you your pad? Or when he's so tired after a long day at work and you prepared some hot tea and biscuits, after an equally-tiring day, and then watch the News @ 8 together on the couch?

Shit man, I can write maybe a thousand things. I don't wish to start now. But I will. Because if that's what it takes for me to share to you, to help touch your hearts and for you to start appreciating the small things in your relationship, so God help me I will.

Don't care too much about the size of your contribution or efforts. Size only matters if you know how to use it. If you don't, just let it be as it is as long as it's manageable.


Don't be greedy

A natural child/kid character, when we want something, we want it NOW, and we want it ALL. Otherwise we'll cry, we'll protest, we'll sabotage, no?

Be grateful only because you are in a relationship, and you are being provided with emotional attention and care. Remember what mummy said when we were kids?

"Be nice, or you won't be getting anything, anymore, sweetheart."

Don't be selfish

I remember one of the comments from an anonymous reader to my post sometime ago,

"The world revolves around the SUN."

Yes living in this world, being competitive and all, we only want/wish the best for ourselves. But you're in a relationship, and a relationship is unwritten sacred agreement between two souls, therefore it needs balance.

It's only normal sometimes to get what you really want. You keep asking for this and that from your partner, and you don't care what he/she wants or needs, that's selfish.

You can order him to follow you doing your daily shopping, but you can't follow him to watch football match once a week? Don't let me start with on-the-bed issues.

Don't set too high expectation

Don't bullshit me and say you have no expectation in a relationship whatsoever. Of course you do. I do. But I don't set a high expectation towards my partner. I believe that I have more to give, than what I should be receiving.

Be realistic, people. If her height is average Asians, don't keep telling her that she has the potential to be like Gisele Bundchen if she stretch her legs 12 hours a day. Or telling him that he can be like Ludwig van Beethoven, what more Beethoven was deaf.

Just learn to accept your partner as who he/she is, and more importantly as who he/she IS NOT.

Don't overdo things

You can be romantic, sweet, needy, gentleman, whatever you wish but I suggest you don't overdo it.

Yes of course you love your partner and your relationship together, but just keep it simple on regular basis. After all, we love surprises don't we? But what happens when you keep getting surprises on a regular-basis? i) heart attack, and ii) cheese(y).

You know why it's called 'cheesy'? Because you like it once in a while, but if you have to eat it every day, it becomes cheesy. Same goes here.

Just because your boyfriend tells you you have a good voice, you sing to him all the way from Kuala Lumpur to Singapore. Read between the lines.

Don't be pushy

Everybody wants to get things done the way they want it regardless how it is done. You want your girlfriend to act like a lady yet you were never a gentleman. It's more than just some mere words.

What is the most important resources in life?


So, let it flow, let your partner do it his/her own way (but you can monitor, not pushy), show a little more trust and hopefully there will be some progress to it. Let him/her have his/her own time.

Even if it doesn't turn out to be like how exactly you want it, you know for a fact that you both tried and you had fun. It's a relationship, not a stock market.


I had fun writing this. I felt as though a hammer slammed on my head. It's like, "Haa... tau pun kau apa nak buat... Tak pernah nak sedar ke?"

Oke, I sedar sekarang.

Lastly, guys, WEAR THE PANTS.

And girls, WEAR A BRA.

None of you want to run around town without it, if you know what I mean.

To read my previous posts on "Of commitment" please click

HERE (Part 1)

HERE(Part 2)

Trust me, we all will make a difference.

Oh, here's a short cut.

Dem yuh!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Of commitment (Part 2)

Hello kids.

Where was I? Okay, I stopped at

to be continued...

Ha ha ha I made a joke. Okay, seriously, I stopped at

"...What should you do? What would you do? What could you do? What do you do?"

I am currently not quite in the good mood. I'm also stuck in the same fucking tail-chasing problem-solution mind-fucking situation. Heh.

See, the thing about me and my writing is that, I write what I think and what I feel, based on my natural resources - readings, observations, and most vital, experiences. The last one with a fucking big "S". I don't usually push myself to learn new things, I just let it happen. Easier that way.

My writing is never an answer nor a wisdom to any of your quest. It's just a story, mostly true, because everything must have a story otherwise there's nothing to tell, then there's nothing to be remembered.

To continue with the topic, I'll break it down for you.


What would you do?

What would you do when things get sour, plain, bland and dull? Normally,

1. You would continue with your jerk attitudes. I'm sure it comes with a big "S" otherwise this will not happened. You don't really bother to at least look back at your own strengths and weaknesses. Brilliant.

2. You would start to look for some extra-curricular partner(s). Someone you can share your same ol shits with, only this time it's a different person, different flames, because you love the idea of escapism. Brilliant.

3. You would panic. You can't think straight, you tend to think emotionally, and eventually ACT emotionally. Brain doesn't play any role anymore to you. Brilliant.

4. You would start the blame game. Of course nothing is your fault. It's always has to be someone else. Brilliant.

5. You would again, not using your brain, and just call it off. Worse, over the phone (call, SMS) or more advance, through Internet (e-mail, Facebook, Twitter). Brilliant.

What could you do?

There are plenty things you could do to get it back on the track. For instance,

1. You could ask yourself, "What the fuck is wrong with me?" That's what you could do.

2. You could ask your partner, "What have I done wrong to you, and to this relationship?" And please LISTEN for God's sake!

3. You could start to stop being a jerk. Stop being so possessive, being so jealous, being so everything else.

What should you do?

I have to tell you, there's a lot you should do. I'll give some of my opinions,

1. You should start using BRAIN, more than your DICK. Ha ha ha kidding. I was gonna say feelings. Yes, I agree that love is a feeling, that's why you cannot trust it all the time, just like your dick. First listen to your heart, and then let your brain do the final filter and decide. This go to both of you.

2. You should LISTEN more to your partner. Hey, don't be a jackass and start to listen. I haven't told you to CHANGE, yet.

3. You should learn to unlearn. The first problem to all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlearn. The hardest part about change is not to learn the new good habit, but to get rid of the old bad ones.

4. You should minimize the conflicts. If talking everyday gets you into quarrels, then minimize it. Same goes to other things.

5. You should play more active roles in your relationship. Little things matter. Have you ever heard of: Small things make perfection, but perfection is not a small thing.


To be continued...


Dem yuh!

Monday, February 22, 2010

"This song is about no one. Really."

Breathe me
Every time you close your eyes
Taste me
Every time you cry
This memory will fade away and die
Just for today
Breathe me and say goodbye

How many times?
How many times?
Now I can't look you in the eye
Now I can't look you in the eye
How many times?
How many times?
Now I can't look you in the eye

See me
In the eyes of mother's child
Turn away
When you see me walkin' by
Once in a while
This melody will fade away and die
Just for today
Breathe me and say goodbye

How many times?
How many times?
Now I can't look you in the eye
Now I can't look you in the eye
How many times?
How many times?
Now I can't look you in the eye

I don't even want to try

How many times?
How many times?
Now I can't look you in the eye
How many times?
How many times?
Now I can't look you in the eye


(Just every words from you is a lie.)

Dem yuh!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Keep Doing What You're Good At.

This is a real turn-off for me, but I just had to post it. I don't think I can bear it in my head anymore.

** **

I can't afford to buy you a jet
Or a mansion with a helipad
At least I know, not just yet
I'm really trying to be the best lad

Treat me like I'm a disgusting rat
Kick me like I'm a stray cat
Swing me like a baseball bat
Like I'm the worst you ever had

Am I some kind of ugly hat?
You treat me bad because of that?
Like I'm the worst you can get
Like I'm the worst you ever bet

Keep on missing like you always good at
Keep giving excuses of this and that
Keep on doing it if that makes you glad
Coz you don't even bother if I'm upset

I used to tuck you every night in my bed
I'm really trying to be the best lad
To give you the best you can get
But darling, I'm for sale, not for let.

** **

Dem yuh!

Saturday, February 20, 2010

INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS: The Lost Art of the Film

I have to admit, Inglourious Basterds is one of my favourite films now, an addition to my all-time favourite films (you can check some of it HERE). I may be biased since I'm heavily influenced by Quentin Tarantino films - Reservoir fucking Dogs, Pulp fucking Fiction, Kill fucking Bill and Death fucking Proof.

What I like about Mr. Tarantino, or Quent, as he constantly insisted me to call him, about his films is that the films are raw, and almost seem crude. Not forgetting the memorable dialogues along with a mouthful profanity are some of the way I like it.

Anyway, not to linger on Quent too much, I wanna feature an event called The Lost Art of Inglourious Basterds. This is a charity event sales to help raise money for the victims of the Haiti earthquake.

There are 13 artworks done by 13 accomplished artists, based on their interpretation of the film itself.

Each of this giclée print artwork will be numbered and signed by Quent himself, and only six original artworks per artist will be sold for USD300 a pop and it's limited to one buyer per artwork. Remember, it's for the charity. Sad news are, it's only available at Upper Playground Los Angeles so phone orders and web orders will not be accepted. And, the event was held two days ago (February 18th 2010).

Check the fantastic artworks below:

If you had the chance, which one WOULD you buy and present as a gift to your mother? Tough choice, eh?

Dem yuh!

Friday, February 19, 2010

Nike Sportswear National Team Kits for South Africa World Cup 2010

FIFA 2010 World Cup South Africa is coming soon. Not that soon, in only about 111 days from now to be exact. I don't know about you guys but I will be staying up all month long for this once-in-four-year fiesta.

But football is not what I wanna talk about here literally. If you really wanna read some funny shit football stories, go to SOKERNET. It's damn freaking hilarious I tell ya.

Anyway just slightly on a more fashionable note, Nike Sportswear has teamed up with some very talented graphic artists to come up with National Team Kit for its sponsored nations for this coming 2010 World Cup. These artists were chosen based on their origin, meaning they have to be originally from the country they design for.

Say not much, here you go.

For more info on Kronk, click HERE.

For more info on Mister Cartoon, click HERE.

For more info on So Me, click HERE.

For more info on Delta, click HERE.

For more info on Nunca, click HERE.

For more info on James Jarvis, click HERE.

:Info via High Snobiety

So far there are six National Team Kit have been presented. I am sure there will be more National Team Kit by Nike Sportswear to be announced as we speak.

It's a really positive progress to see that arts and subculture artists are being recognised and being given the honor to take their national pride to the opposite side of the mainstream.

I'm sure if our proud country Malaysia ever to compete in FIFA World Cup (20??) we might have Datuk Lat to design it. Ermm, he must be too old for that shit though.

Dem yuh!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

How (in)Significant We Are.

Check this link out:

It's a blog written by MR.AZ @ Jason Mraz. What the hell were we thinking when we thought that we are so big, or powerful, or SIGNIFICANT? I say, how insignificant we are.

Like Jason himself quoted,

"Wake up to the WTF of it all and enjoy the ride."

If you are rich today, so be it. If you are not, so what? Same goes to everything else.

We live because of a higher purpose. We ought to seek what it is, so that we know what to do. We need to remember who we were, before we decide what we want to be.

Remember, at the end of the day, when you are at the corner of the hardest/worst/roughest situation(s), you have only YOURSELF to look after you. So why bother listen to what other people want you to do ALL THE TIME?

So do what you gotta do, and leave the rest to GOD.

Dem yuh!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Valentine Mode #7 (FINALE): Who Needs Valentine's?

** **

In the middle of the morning
The room is noisy with us moaning
Who needs Valentine's?

In the middle of the afternoon
We're still pretty much on the moon
Who needs Valentine's?

In the middle of the day
We're sweeping off each others feet away
Who needs Valentine's?

In the middle of the evening
We're teasing and kissing and humping
Who needs Valentine's?

In the middle of the night
I wake up and you are by my side
Who needs Valentine's?

When you are mine
Who needs Valentine's?

** **

Dem yuh!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Valentine Mode #6: The Art of Love(making).

Hey young world.

We are almost at the peak of our Special Edition Valentine Mode Series, by none other than His Royal Naughtyness.

I have put a lot of thoughts in my Valentine Mode Series, whether or not it benefits any of you, is beyond my power. If you READ, and you THINK, and then you DO, you will make the difference. Otherwise, take it as my syok sendiri project lah.

So, we are down to the second last of the series. Well if you read the title, it's a self-explanatory. Why do I have to put "(making)" in brackets? Because it contains material that could be omitted without destroying or altering the meaning of a sentence. Ho ho ho.

Today is the 13th of February, a.k.a. Valentine's Day Eve. What did you usually do in the previous year(s)? I will not have to answer that. But HOW do we do it this year? Now that, let me tell ya.

The content I am posting below is categorised as an Adult Material, therefore I shall not be, in any way, accused nor blamed nor defamed for any social deterioration and culture shock.

Here I present you The Art of Love(making). It is put in alphabetical order and in no way reflects my personal preferences nor my partner's.

Ladies and gentlemen, whether you are a lady or a gentleman or even in between confusion, please, BE GENTLE.

Enjoy, fuckers.

Oh, enlarge by click, just like my dick.


Time Start: 12:10 PM
Energy: 60%

Time Finish: 12:13 PM
Energy: 56%

Position Accomplished: 32

Comment: Relatively fast, efficient energy consumption, extremely versatile.


Well there you go.

In case you get confused, the BLUE is the one who FUCK and the PINK is the one being FUCKED. Gender is irrespective.

Please be reminded that this is a knowledge. It has been used for thousand of years and therefore it will not stop anytime soon. Just like smoking marijuana.

To all, enjoy your love(making) session(s).
*It is put in brackets in case you got LUCKY.

Dem yuh!
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