Wednesday, April 29, 2009

After almost three years...

Maybe most of you did not know, that I was caught in a rather unusual car accident back in 2006, September 1st to be exact. That accident was really funny (it was not at all at that very moment though), quick (it's quicker than a quickie sex) and horrible as it may look like, or sound like. Let me story in present tense to make it more interesting, and easier for me to write without having to THINK of how to write in past tense or past continuous tense or whatever arggghhh gosh I'm so tensed!

It is almost 4 in the morning, me and my extended brother Aie Dragon went to see Brother Yut at Jalan Pinang (behind KLCC, where the old Rum Jungle used to be) to hand him his handphone that he accidentally left in my car earlier. Aie and me, along with Pejo the Hercules and Izral Kuntum has just finished work suddenly Brother Yut called and said he left his handphone in my car. He needs the phone because he is leaving for Kedah at 6.00am. So yeah we went straight away, feeling sleepy and tired.

We arrived at the corner (the T-Junction between Jalan P.Ramlee and Jalan Pinang where the old Rum Jungle is situated right at the junction) and parked the car across street. Crossed the street and Brother Yut is already there with few other familiar faces (Izan, Kocok, and the rest). Secret hand shake, borak-borak kosong, passed the handphone to him, and secret hand shake again.

"Selamat sampai ke Kedah abang", I said to him.


I turn my head to see what is that sound. It is actually a good-looking, solid dark blue BMW 318i thundering towards us. All I can say is, "Wow, Beemer....."


It's like the sound of an explosion in the sky. I can't really explain the feelings that time. It happens so fast it's almost not happening at all. All I can feel is that as if I was a great matador in a show at Colosseum with a huge raging bull charging towards me and the bull was running so fast things gone wrong as I just couldn't swift to the side from being hit by that outrageous monster. I swear to God it was so fast. The car went on the pedestrian walkway and just rammed on to whoever that was there. My eyes were force to close of looking at something that came to me in a thunder-like speed. Split second and I can feel that I was literally flying and hit some things to my horrendous landing.

I open my eyes, I am in between all these trees and broken vases. Head is spinning. My teeth feels like dropping off the gum. Blurry eyes. Back pain. Fuck fuck fuck! I can feel that my saliva is filling my mouth in a rapid flow. Ludah. Shit it is not saliva, it's blood. Mouthful of blood. Shit shit shit! Cold sweat on my face. I wipe my face with my dirty hands, and yes as I thought, it's sweat plus blood on my face. Teringat kata-kata Din Beramboi, "Biarkan peluh mengalir bersama darah." Self-explanatory. I am so hysterically pissed off with that mofucker. I'm just gonna fuck him on the street, right in front of everyone. Like, literally fuck him upside down. Just like Derek Vinyard in the American History X.

But something is wrong somewhere. I try to get up, but only my right leg is moving. The left, paralyzed, dead. What the fuck??!! Slowly I touch my left shin, and yes fuck times three it's twisted. My left shin bone (in case you want me to explain it scientifically, it's called the Tibia bone). How would I know it's broken? Because it is goddamnit!

Shit I don't wish to continue on the details, it's still irritating. Long story short, that fucker got served by the public, especially my friends. He was beaten up so good he had to admit himself in a hospital (I wished he went to General Hospital so I can kill him softly but fucker is smart too despite his retarded driving skills).

Me? I went to GH with a taxi. Ambulance was slow as a kura-kura and I rather naik my arnab taxi. The pain was unexplainable. I got warded for seven days, and yes it's not the nicest moment in my life, though I'm always blessed for the life-and-death experience. Well at least it added to my character, no? I was diagnosed with a broken left tibia, broken nasal bone, stitches on my nose and forehead, bruises, and suffered Bell's Palsy three weeks later.

I'm going to share some pictures that are still with me. I don't know if anybody else have my picture(s).

Menunggu dilanggar beramai-ramai

I see light

Opss sorry this is a different 'accident'

It's more straight now

Donny menunggu masa untuk mencabul gua

Smile, you are on the Candid Accident!

Silver Surfer coughed blood. Tuberculosis I guess...

You believe me now?

Infected by beautiful kurap for six months

So my whole point of this story is, I received a call from my case lawyer earlier today. I have to attend the hearing for the settlement at the Jalan Duta Court Complex. After almost three years.

I hope the Judge will excuse my new look

Dem yuh!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009


Mental block!

Dem yuh!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

A true genius does not meet expectation...

Bent, 29'.
Spurs 1 - 0 Devils.

Modric, 32'.
Spurs 2 - 0 Devils.
Fak x 2.

Half time.
Fak fak fak.

(I'll fucking leave this place if it goes 3-0)

Ronaldo, pen 57'.
Devils 1 - 2 Spurs.
Fak yea!

Rooney, 67'.
Devils 2 - 2 Spurs.
Fak yea! x 2.

Ronaldo, 68'.
Devils 3 - 2 Spurs.
Fak yea! x 3.

Rooney, 71'.
Devils 4 - 2 Spurs.
Fak yea! x 4.

Berbatov, 79'.
Devils 5 - 2 Spurs.
Fak yea! x 5.

(while humming in my heart, a broken record from Offspring - Pretty Fly)

~Uno, dos, tres, quattro, cinco... cinco... cinco... cinco... cinco...~

Nice ass Roon...

Devil's gay orgy

... A true genius shatters expectation.

Dem yuh!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

The running man.

I may pretend to be running for money, wisdom, or power.
But none of that matters.
Whatever I achieve will be incomplete if I fail to find my soulmate.
Which I have found mine.

Now, should I continue running or should I just turn around?

Have you?

Dem yuh!

The Feelings That Once, Existed.

Isn't it strange, how I can forget something as awful as that storm I once encountered. It's only been a few months and already the memory of it is devoid of terror. I can recall the events, of course, but I can't feel anything. Funny, isn't it, how the human mind works?

We humans have a remarkable capacity to disguise emotions... ~ We suppress feelings, we force ourselves to forget things until, finally, we truly believe those things had never existed.

Such cynicism in one so pure... ~ Do you really think so?

Of course. It's how we survive, isn't it?

Yes, it's right, of course. I mean, let's take the terrible storm as an example. I remember being washed overboard; I can remember, clearly, being battered by the waves, swallowing gallons of water ~ I can still taste the salt at the back of my throat, but can I recall the terror? No, not really. Similarly, I can remember surfacing once the squall had passed, and I can remember seeing you, but as for how I felt: nothing! The elation of being alive, intense as it was then, no longer exists. I've simply forgotten. Of course I remember everything; but I'm afraid I draw a blank as far as emotions are concerned.

But, what about death? Would you forget a person once he/she is passed on?

Their face ~ their image ~ would stay with you, of course. You'd remember what they looked like. The details may become vague, but you'd still remember. Just like a photograph. In your mind's eye, you'd be able to re-create all their habits ~ the way they slept, how they ate: everything. But, would you remember how u felt about them? And how they felt about you?

No, I don't think so.

Death, I believe, erases everything. It erases all traces of the life that once existed, completely and forever. Of course we help it in its task ~ we're the ones who do the forgetting.

I couldn't argue with it.

But this time, and for the longest time, I feel you. And for the longest time, I feel at home. And the longest time of all, I had the deepest sleep at nights. So deep that I drowned myself into you. So, open up the window curtain, forgive yourself and let it go. This I personally dedicate to Aydan, the shining moon.

Dem yuh!

Monday, April 20, 2009

Ryuichi Sakamoto - Bibo no Aozora

This one is rather unusual.

I remember I watched a film called Babel by Alejandro Gonzales Innaritu, starring the likes of Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett, among other multi talented international actors from Japan, Mexico, and Morocco. You can look at my movie pick-ups HERE anyway. Okay so, this movie is about four different stories, multi-narrative but all interrelated yada yada yada bla bla bla I don't wish to start now.

But my point of this entry is that, at the end of the story, the deaf Japanese girl, Chieko (Rinko Kikuchi) was leaning on the balcony, naked when her father entered their apartment. Suddenly this one very sentimental song came out to close the film with a very touchy part of piano strings. I was so drowned into the sound, not even knowing who actually composed it.

That was about two years ago.

Last week, I met someone, and I asked that person about that song. I managed to hit few stupid keys on the iPod Piano, and not expecting her (ahh now I spilled the beans already) to even understand the sound I tried to make her listen to.

But do not underestimate a musician. No, never underestimate them.

After few days later, she introduced me to a song, which I had no idea what it was (since the name was a bit alien). So I hit the "Play" button, and........................

This is what you guys gonna do.

Since we've been ignorant for the longest time, please spend about nine minutes and listen to this song. Tell we what do you feel, how do you feel and why, in the standard comment box provided by Blogger. This is a practice to develop stronger definition of your own feelings when you listen, see, touch or experience anything for that matter. Unless you are a robot, or you just have no sense at all, you won't feel anything. At least you can just feel annoyed or nauseous or whatever feelings you are feeling that time, rather than "I don't feel anything" because that is just plain stupid.

To me, this is just perfect. Thank you very much Aydan.

Dem yuh!

Friday, April 17, 2009

I am so the KOSONG

My head is just everywhere now. I am thinking about many things. Too many things. Everything about almost anything.

I feel my brain now is like cellulose wood fibres or foamed plastic polymers. Porous and it just absorbs any liquid-based knowledge and cleans impervious surfaces of my doubts.

I feel my brain now is like colloid hydrogel quicksand. It's like living surface that just swallows everything that landed or stepped on it. It lubricates the particles of information and renders them until it is unable to support any significant weight when exposed to stress.

I feel my brain now is like a super massive black hole. Yes, my brain right now is just a region of space in which the gravitational field is so powerful that nothing, including light, can escape its pull. It absorbs all information that hits it, reflecting nothing, just like a perfect black body in thermodynamics. Despite its invisible interior, my brain can reveal its presence through interaction with other matter. Creepy.

This is my brain. The brain of a true genius.

What a way to end a Friday.

Dem yuh!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Stress Management: A to Z

This is just a part of the whole stress management. Don't tell me it's too simple and say "stress management is more than just A to Z". Yes, I know that for fuck sake! If you can't even practice a simple A to Z instructions, then you're just a dumbass! <- a case of failed stress management, brought to you by BudakNakal.

So I am, in fact are not good myself at managing stress. So it's good to all of us to learn. One thing that never failed to make me kept me alive, is the possibility of learning new things in life, every day. Every fucking day. Here we go angry bitches!

Always take time for yourself, at least 30 minutes per day.
Be aware of your own stress meter: Know when to step back and cool down.
Concentrate on controlling your own situation, without controlling everybody else.
Daily exercise will burn off the stress chemicals.

Eat lots of fresh fruit, veggies, bread and water, give your body the best for it to perform at its best.
Forgive others, don't hold grudges and be tolerant -- not everyone is as capable as you.
Gain perspective on things, how important is the issue?
Hugs, kisses and laughter: Have fun and don't be afraid to share your feelings with others.

Identify stressors and plan to deal with them better next time.
Judge your own performance realistically; don't set goals out of your own reach.
Keep a positive attitude, your outlook will influence outcomes and the way others treat you.
Leave alcohol, drugs and other stimulants, they affect your perception and behaviour.

Manage money well, seek advice and save at least 10 per cent of what you earn.
No is a word you need to learn to use without feeling guilty.
Outdoor activities by yourself, or with friends and family, can be a great way to relax.
Play your favourite music rather than watching television.
Quit smoking: It is stressing your body daily, not to mention killing you too.

Relationships: Nurture and enjoy them, learn to listen more and talk less.
Sleep well, with a firm mattress and a supportive pillow; don't overheat yourself and allow plenty of ventilation.
Treat yourself once a week with a massage, dinner out, the movies: Moderation is the key.
Understand things from the other person's point of view.
Verify information from the source before exploding.

Worry less, it really does not get things completed better or quicker.
Xpress: Make a regular retreat to your favourite space, make holidays part of your yearly plan and budget.
Yearly goal setting: Plan what you want to achieve based on your priorities in your career, relationships, etc.
Zest for life: Each day is a gift, smile and be thankful that you are a part of the bigger picture.

Why, something stuck in your brain?

Dem yuh!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


Gua memang tiada idea nak tulis apa kebelakangan ini. Ada banyak juga aktiviti yang gua buat sepanjang minggu. Cuma memang tiada mood nak menulis. I don't want to force myself to write and end up trying too hard to look cute, to be smart or even to sound clever.

Anyway two days ago I went and met some very close friends, or I can consider part of my family. Went to see them after work, chatted, laughed, and I came with a special project that will involve few close people to me. The project will be a crazy one. Done by the genius basterds.
*hint hint*

Ahh, persetan. Gua nak tulis bahasa Melayu.






Aduhai gua memang tak tahu nak tulis apa kali ini. Sampah betul otak.

Dem yuh!

Monday, April 13, 2009

The Wonder of the World.

Just a metaphor:

When a person is described as chameleon, the reference to the animal is generally a commentary on the person's ability to blend into various social situations, often to mean the person has no true values, or that he quickly abandons them in company if it's convenient to do so. "Chameleons" are also people who can change their personality and appearance with ease, morphing into a seemingly different person, such as an accomplished actor or model.

In this case, it's just amazing. Pure amazing. Praise to Allah S.W.T, The Director of The Whole Universe, dunia dan segala isinya.

Dem yuh!

Economics Fundamental (for different countries)

You have two cows.

You sell one and bought a baby bull.

Nurse and feed it well;

They mate, your herd multiplies and the economy grows.

You invest & kept the gains into the country reserve.

You sell them and everyone retire on the income.

You have two cows.

You mortgage both of them to the bank & obtain investment for two more cows.

Then re-mortgage the investment the four cows for eight cows and continue to do likewise.

The financial market was flooding with mortgages & investments in cow's assets.

No one knows where & who owned the original 2 cow's ...... ?

Then these 2 original cows grew old & eventually died.

You are surprised when there's No Asset to back up the mortgage or
repay the loan ???
Finally, you ask the government to bail out the collapse financial cow's market!


You have two cows.

You go on strike because you want three cows.


You have two cows.

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

You then create clever cow cartoon images called 'Cowkimon' and market them World-Wide.


You have two cows.

You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.


You have two cows.

Both are mad.


You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.

You break for lunch.


You have 5,000 cows and none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.


You have two cows.

You have 300 people fighting for the job to milking them.

You discover both cows are pirated.


You have two cows.

You worship them.


You have two cows.

You signed a 40-year contract to supply milk at RM0.06 per litre.

Then midway through, you raised the price to RM0.60 or you cut the supply.

When the buyer agrees to the new price, you change your mind again and now want RM1.20.

The buyer decided you can keep the milk and they go look for milk that comes from recycled cows or the cow urine instead.

Your two cows retire together with the Prime Minister.

And last but not least,


You have two cows,

One "cow-peh" and one "cow-bu".

Dem yuh!

Friday, April 10, 2009

The Legend of Space Cowboy.

This report is rather late. Again.

Couldn't make it to the Sepang F1 Grand Prix Race even though I have couple of very good tickets. I missed the race, but I was fortunate in a way, the rain was so heavy and I don't like to get wet, unless I'm on the bed. *yawn*

Anyway, my initial plan was to go to Jamiroquai concert. This is the first time Sepang International Circuit held such activity. It's an after-race party. Went there with my usual cousins, close friends and no girlfriend yet again.

Reached there around 9pm, and the helipad area was soaked like a washing machine.

Jay Kay and the shenanigans came onto the stage about 9.30pm or so I guessed. Didn't bring my camera. Actually I forgot (OMG how dumb was that?). And I'm so lucky my beloved cousin Faradiba Mazlan snapped some (thank you Eyba). To those who missed it, you missed the best performance in Malaysia. Now N.E.R.D can kiss my sorry ass ha ha ha...

(enlarge by click, just like my dick)


At the age of forty (yes you heard me mates, 40) he is still standing, dancing, moving and singing like there's no tomorrow. He's a true legend, and just insanely awesome. Propah!

Dem yuh!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Puma x Solebox R698

Ahh.. This is one sweet pair. Kena racun sama
Azman @ justiz2. Jahat kau!


Dem yuh!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

I want you to...

Turn your lights down low, and pull your window curtains.

I want to give you some good, good loving...

Oh let the moon come shining in, into our life again..

Dem yuh!

Monday, April 6, 2009

While I was stuck...


"Welcome to McDonalds Delivery bla bla bla ...."

"Press one for Eng..."
(pressed two)

"Sila tekan satu untuk pesanan ..."
(tekan satu)

"Sila tunggu. Panggilan anda bla bla bla ..."

"Untuk pengetahuan anda, perbualan ini akan dirakamkan bla bla bla..."
(korek hidung while talking to Uptight Girl)

"Hello, McDonalds Delivery, boleh saya bantu?"
(ye boleh, sila bantu hilangkan lapar gua)

"Nama encik ..."
(Wei mana lu tahu ni??!! Bila gua bercinta dengan lu??)

"Alamat encik ..."
(Bila pula gua penah bawa lu balik rumah gua???)




Tunggu 45 minit. Nanti sampai makanan gua. Wah kah kah gua sudah lapar, terkurung dalam rumah.

Gua tak suka makan McD, makanan pantas tidak menyihatkan. Tapi sebab gua terkurung dalam rumah, gua takut nak masak. Nanti kalau rumah terbakar macam mana gua nak buat? Takkan gua nak lompat ikut tingkap, tingkat sembilan rumah gua ini. Pasti mati. Kalau rumah ini terbakar, idea paling baik gua dapat ialah masuk ke tandas dan buka shower, lantas mandi. Jadi api yang marak itu tidak boleh mencederakan gua. Api kena air kan terpadam. Kenapa orang tak terfikir macam tu?

45 minit.

*tok tok tok...

(ahh.. dah sampai! woot woot!)

"Ini abang punya order ye. Spicy chicken McDeluxe, Ayam Goreng Mc ..."
(Okey okey sudah.. Sudah.. Gua lapar ni. Lu nak ulang balik suara lu pergi ulang kat makwe lu, dia mesti suka dengar)

Alamak, macam mana nak masukkan makanan ni dalam rumah? Grill rumah gua terkunci. Air Coca-Cola ni kalau gua terbalikkan mesti tumpah. Burger dan ayam goreng yang lu sibuk sangat nak ulang-ulang suara ni pun macam mana nak lepas grill ni?! Gua kena suruh lu kerat-kerat ke ayam tu kasi dia lepas lubang grill gua?!

Ada orang tu suruh gua call bomba, pecahkan pintu. Kalau nak gua pecahkan lagi best, puas hati. Tapi yang paling gua tak mahu call bomba ialah, nanti kalau ada wartawan buat liputan macam mana? Keluar tajuk berita muka surat depan Harian Metro:

Lelaki Terkunci Dalam Rumah Sendiri Disyaki Terencat Akal

Dem yuh!


Woke up, I had a bad feeling.

Damn I'm right! I'm locked in my own house!

Dem yuh!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Mesej Dari Jauh

Gua dapat emel dari seorang kawan lama. Lama juga gua tak jumpa dia. Gua busy, dia pun busy. Kitorang bukan buat-buat busy, ini betul punya. Dia pon tinggal jauh juga, Amerika Syarikat sana. Dia ni kerja keras orangnya, multitasker. Siang dia kerja keluarkan Warren kat pesalah-pesalah trafik yang tak bayar saman, malam pula dia organise Buffett dekat kawasan taman perumahan dia, New York kalau tak salah gua.

Dia cerita kat gua pasal masalah eco-no-money kat Amerika sekarang ni. Banyak syarikat lingkup, bank dah takda duit nak bagi rakyat pinjam, orang bunuh diri sebab tertekan, hutang keliling pinggang, macam-macam. Dan Malaysia secara dasarnya akan terkena tempias eco-no-money lebih kurang enam bulan ke setahun selepas negara-negara maju yang lain. Itu pasal Malaysia baru terasa kemelesetan tu sejak beberapa bulan lepas, padahal negara-negara maju lain (konsep negara maju ini berdasarkan terjemahan ensaiklopedia, bukan cyclops) sudah dilanda kecelakaan itu sejak awal tahun 2008.

Untuk tidak bercerita panjang lebar pasal gua pun macam bosan baca tulisan gua sendiri, kawan gua yang hanya mahu dikenali dengan nama samaran berdasarkan pekerjaan dwi-harian beliau iaitu Warren Buffett pesan benda-benda berikut sempena mengharungi tahun 2009 yang sungguh radikal. Beliau emel gua dalam Bahasa Penjajah dan gua pun sedikit sebanyak dah ter-westernized pula.

Hard work: All hard work bring a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.

Laziness: A sleeping lobster is carried away by the water current.

Earnings: Never depend on a single source of income. (At least make your Investments get you second earning)

Spending: If you buy things you don't need, you'll soon sell things you need.

Savings: Don't save what is left after spending; Spend what is left after saving.

Borrowings: The borrower becomes the lender's slave.

Accounting: It's no use carrying an umbrella, if your shoes are leaking.

Auditing: Beware of little expenses; A small leak can sink a large ship.

Risk-taking: Never test the depth of a river with both feet. (Have an alternate plan ready)

Investment: Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

Sempat dia hantar gambar posing maut dia kat gua. Narsisistik!

Jadi, cubalah jadikan amalan kepada sesiapa yang baca mesej dari jauh ni. Semoga kita masih hidup dan terus hidup dan tidak menyusahkan orang lain.

Dem yuh!

Thursday, April 2, 2009


Had a conversation with someone very important to me. I will only address that person as Taiko. Taiko is a lady, like Sister Thirteen in Young & Dangerous.

anyway, i wrote something for the 'uptight girl' i was talking about. u remember? the girl that i like?

ahhaa... in ur blog ke?


oh yeah?

yea, it's like a counter-strike haha. tensen la dia uptight gile! kalo bole i nak spanar je dia tu, biar longgar sket

hhahahahah.. challenging sket... baru la thrill.... x nak try lg ke?

nak la tapi dia ni uptight sgt, i nak kena overhaul nak tune dia



uptight sgt how?

ye la, isnt it obvious? u see, when a guy likes her (me), dia patut rasa flattered, rasa teruja, u know what im sayin? regardless i ni hensem ke, burok ke miskin ke apa ke. ye la, org suka kita, mesti la kita rasa best kan, in a way. don't u think? but, dia bole ckp "i like u as a friend". uptight la tu

haha... ada2 je la u ni...

then, she's seeing a guy.but based on her story, mamat tu agak menyakitkan hati la, x sensitive, tak caring, tak macam2 lg

then u cucuk la jarum

dia pon sebenarnye agak kecewa ngan mamat tu, tapi ntah la apasal she still crazy about that guy. sikit2 that guy, sikit2 that guy, still getting herself attached for what i know that guy doesn't love her, and she is not certain about her feelings as well

how u know all this info? she told u?

i know la. and then, she doesnt like to go to clubs ke apa ke sumer masalah2 remaja ni la, which is fine with me, and i find that attractive too coz i pon x suka pompuan gila club, but that doesnt mean she cant go have fun right? watch people do cheesy and stupid dancing, be around her love ones, all those things

aik? btul2 mara nampak?

dan yang paling i bengang, her screw-up guy is so ignorant, x peduli pasal dia, tapi dia still nak lagi jumpa mamat tu, still melayan mamat tu punya screw-up mind, padahal i ada jer kat sini, to be her ears, lend her my shoulders, to advise her on life, to take care of her

she's uptight and she doesn't wanna open herself up coz she thinks nothing last forever, everything is temporary

im not angry, im upset

so what do u wanna do about it?

im trying so hard to make people see things differently. i dont know, really coz to me, if i tell her, "please look at things this way", that would sound like she's stupid, isnt it?


why does she have to be sad when the guy can't see more of her, while i am here to be the one who takes care of her? to listen to all her bullshits

if u really2 like this girl then do something about it....

something like what?

anything that u can think of to get her... do whatever it takes..

hahaa. u're funny.. u serious? anything?

yeah! anything.. it seems to me that u r crazy bout this girl...

such as?

god!!! impress her la...



if u la, u nak laki buat apa kat u?

this is not about me.....

im asking u

every individual is different...

i know. im asking u

y me? y dont u ask her instead?

im asking u

attention, affection, caress.. thats what i think she's lack of... so, u kena la byk bersabar.....

Meanwhile, I read this somewhere: The guys who are hearing "I only want to be friends" are not generating any attraction at all.



uve finally open up ur heart for some1 else... that is a good start dont u think?

i dont know. my heart is still attached somewhere. and if no one's willing to sacrifice, and make effort to get it, what's the point?

why do i have to take it back and offer to someone, when nobody is willing to fight for my heart? why do i have to offer it for free? and end up, being torn away again, and again?

u see why i dont wanna try so hard, to any of the girls, coz i dont see any point of me sacrificing my heart to someone that is too 'blind' to see what i have in me, my certain qualities, my affection, my love for them?

thus, i only do it half way. the other half, must come from the other party. in other way it means effort. relationship is a two-way traffic
, no?

yes, maybe im not attractive, or i rather say, i failed to portray attraction to her. well, what can i do? i met her once, we talk about 30 seconds only. the rest was just trying to make her 'see' me without 'seeing' me.

hey... c'mon.. dont give up now...

this is not giving up. this is reality check. she needs to 'see' this with her heart. i cant explain this


The rest were irrelevant. Anyway, this is a fiction.

Dem yuh!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Uptight Girl

Uptight girl
She's been living in her own tight world

I bet she's never had a real street guy

I bet her boyfriend never rode a bike

I'm gonna loosen up this uptight girl

She's been living in her Wendy's world

As long as she can have whatever she wants

And now she's closing down from everyone

That's why I'm here

She doesn't know what

She wants from her type

And when she wakes up

With headaches in her mind

She'll say that I'm a laugh

Just because

I'm in love with this uptight girl

You know I've seen her in her uptight world

She's getting tired of her depressed world

And all the bullshits from her uptown boy

She's got a choice

Uptight girl

You know I can't afford to buy you pearls

Sooner or later when my ship comes in

She'll understand what kind of guy I am

And then I'll win

And when she's walking

She's tripping her steps

And when she's talking

It's faster than her mind

She'll say that I'm a laugh
Just because

I'm in love with this uptight girl

She's been living in her Wendy's world

As long as she can have whatever she wants

But now she's closing down from everyone

That's why I'm here

Uptight girl

She's my uptight girl

You know I'm in love

With you uptight girl

by Fad. It's true.


Dem yuh!

A Song can really Cry.

The most incredible baby.

I can't see 'em comin down my eyes so I gotta make the song cry.

Good dudes - I know you love me like cooked food even though a migga got move like a crook move. We was together on the block since free lunch, we shoulda been together havin 4 Seasons brunch. We used to use umbrellas to face the bad weather so now we travel first class to change the forecast. Never in bunches, just me and you, I loved your point of view cause you held no punches. Still I left you for months on end, it's been months since I checked back in. Well somewhere in a small town, somewhere locking a mall down, woodgrain, four and change, Armor All'd down. I can understand why you want a divorce now though I can't let you know it, pride won't let me show it. Pretend to be heroic, that's just one to grow with but deep inside a migga so sick.

I can't see 'em comin down my eyes so I gotta make the song cry.

On repeat, the CD of Big's "Me and My Bitch", watchin Bonnie and Clyde, pretending to be that shit, empty gun in your hand sayin, "Let me see that clip". Shoppin sprees, pull out your Visa quick. A migga had very bad credit, you helped me lease that whip, you helped me get the keys to that V dot 6. We was so happy poor but when we got rich, that's when our signals got crossed, and we got flipped. Rather mine, I don't know what made me leave that shit. Made me speed that quick, let me see - that's it. It was the cheese helped them bitches get amnesia quick. I used to cut up they buddies, now they sayin they love me. Used to tell they friends I was ugly and wouldn't touch me. Then I showed up in that dubbed out buggy and then they got fuzzy and they don't remember that and I don't remember you..

I can't see it comin down my eyes so I gotta make the song cry. Yeah I seen 'em comin down your eyes but I gotta make the song cry.

A face of stone, was shocked on the other end of the phone. Word back home is that you had a special friend? So what was oh so special then? You have given away without gettin at me, that's your fault, how many times you forgiven me? How was I to know that you was plain sick of me? I know the way a migga livin was whack but you don't get a migga back like that! Shit I'm a man with pride, you don't do shit like that, you don't just pick up and leave and leave me sick like that! You don't throw away what we had, just like that! I was just fuckin them girls, I was gon' get right back! They say you can't turn a bad girl good but once a good girl's goin bad, she's gone forever. I'll mourn forever. Shit I gotta live with the fact I did you wrong forever.

I can't see 'em comin down my eyes so I gotta make the song cry. I know I seen 'em comin down your eyes but I gotta make the song cry.

It's fucked up girl...

web count
web count