Happy Vuck Day.

Yeah yeah yeah,

When it comes to this Valentine's Day, people going insane. Buying presents, going out to dinners, buying flowers, all sorts.

I have actually wrote a series of Valentine's tips and tricks, and it is called the Valentine Mode Series. Please go check it out. Some definitely will work for you.

Or, allow me to lay it down for ya. Click at the topics.

#1: Of appreciation

#2: Modern Grace Gentleman

#3: Know your man, better.

#4: Games for days.

#5: Don't stop flirting.

#6: The Art of Love(making).

#7: Finale - Who Needs Valentine's?

Have fun, and Happy Vuck Day, people.


Dem yuh!

Valentine Mode #7 (FINALE): Who Needs Valentine's?

** **
*

In the middle of the morning
The room is noisy with us moaning
Who needs Valentine's?

In the middle of the afternoon
We're still pretty much on the moon
Who needs Valentine's?

In the middle of the day
We're sweeping off each others feet away
Who needs Valentine's?

In the middle of the evening
We're teasing and kissing and humping
Who needs Valentine's?

In the middle of the night
I wake up and you are by my side
Who needs Valentine's?

When you are mine
Who needs Valentine's?

*
** **

Dem yuh!

Valentine Mode #6: The Art of Love(making).

Hey young world.

We are almost at the peak of our Special Edition Valentine Mode Series, by none other than His Royal Naughtyness.

I have put a lot of thoughts in my Valentine Mode Series, whether or not it benefits any of you, is beyond my power. If you READ, and you THINK, and then you DO, you will make the difference. Otherwise, take it as my syok sendiri project lah.

So, we are down to the second last of the series. Well if you read the title, it's a self-explanatory. Why do I have to put "(making)" in brackets? Because it contains material that could be omitted without destroying or altering the meaning of a sentence. Ho ho ho.

Today is the 13th of February, a.k.a. Valentine's Day Eve. What did you usually do in the previous year(s)? I will not have to answer that. But HOW do we do it this year? Now that, let me tell ya.

The content I am posting below is categorised as an Adult Material, therefore I shall not be, in any way, accused nor blamed nor defamed for any social deterioration and culture shock.

Here I present you The Art of Love(making). It is put in alphabetical order and in no way reflects my personal preferences nor my partner's.

Ladies and gentlemen, whether you are a lady or a gentleman or even in between confusion, please, BE GENTLE.

Enjoy, fuckers.

Oh, enlarge by click, just like my dick.

*******

Time Start: 12:10 PM
Energy: 60%

































Time Finish: 12:13 PM
Energy: 56%
Position Accomplished: 32

Comment: Relatively fast, efficient energy consumption, extremely versatile.

*******

Well there you go.

In case you get confused, the BLUE is the one who FUCK and the PINK is the one being FUCKED. Gender is irrespective.

Please be reminded that this is a knowledge. It has been used for thousand of years and therefore it will not stop anytime soon. Just like smoking marijuana.

To all, enjoy your love(making) session(s).
*It is put in brackets in case you got LUCKY.

Dem yuh!

Valentine Mode #5: Don't stop flirting.

I hope my Valentine Mode Series is peaking up its intensity.

I started from "Of appreciation" which is about the appreciation of little things in relationship - something that we most often ignored. Of how we are suppose to take more initiative in relationship by brushing up all the little things that we should do to our partner.

Then I posted something from The Sartorialist, about the "Modern grace gentleman". The post is dedicated to the gentlemen, so that you know you need to be grace to your woman. And women, please be more sensitive when your man does some little special things for you.

After that was something for the ladies to get to "Know your man, better". I think it is relatively simple, only that ladies need to be more patience when dealing with their man. We men are simple and straight-forward. Keep it like that between us.

And the #4 was "Games for days" which is part of the fun activities you can do to spark up your relationship. Games can be many, so choose or create one, from the simple ones to the super-heated kinky stuff. As long as both of you are comfortable with it.

Another important key in any relationship is FLIRT. No, not to flirt with other men/women but with your partner and your partner only. Often a relationship transformed into a more serious one; everything has to be in order, too directive, toned down and no fun anymore. What happened to all the kinky jokes, the love bites, the lap dances, the tickling and the public display of affections?

Partners naturally became complacent after they've secured the relationship. Try to remember the time when you were still chasing, fighting and risking yourself for a chance to convince your not-yet partner to take your love that time. You become so suave, humorous, smart and confident. And a little bit flirtatious too, no?

I tell you one thing, men are more vulnerable to the act of flirtation from his woman, compared to women. Hence why men are sexually more motivated than women. We are men, what do you expect?

How do you do it?

It's simple. Follow (or improvise) these few steps.

1. When your man came home after a long day at work (or after a drunk night-out with the boys), you


2. He will lose his senses. Before he even starts to say anything, you


3. His eyes will roll like a cuckoo bird. Then you straight away make your move to him, very close, hold his hand, and you


4. I'm sure his jaw will drop to the floor. Relax, it's not the end yet. You push him gently, walk slow to the bed, wrap your comforter around you, take off everything underneath it, then you



Trust me, you'll make the difference.

Dem yuh!

Valentine Mode #4: Games for days.

What we lack in a relationship are usually the fun parts. The little things, remember?

I like to play games. I like to ask questions. I like to tease. I like to joke. I like to clown. There are many sort of games to be played, or can be played. You can rank it from 1 (the silliest) to 10 (the most intimate), up to you.

Basically, the purpose of playing games with your partner is to get to know each other better. Some things can be asked directly, but some need to be asked in a different way, you can't ask directly, for example, "What colour(s) do you like?" I mean, that's just plain boring, no?

For instance, you already know your partner likes certain colours i.e BLACK and WHITE (even though I'm not too sure if both are categorised as COLOUR). Or you know your partner likes Thai and Mamak food, because it's the easiest we can here even in the wee hours. Normally, once you are in a relationship, you already know more or less the basic information about your partner.

Now, I am going to share a little game you can play with your partner. It's not rocket science game, just a simple yet fun, sometimes can even get tricky. Nevertheless, exciting.

Here it is:

Well, I still have no name for it yet, so I'm going to just name it

"This OR That?"

Sound stupid? Exactly.

Before I continue, allow me to explain a little bit more.

Like I said earlier, you already know some basic stuff about your partner i.e favourite colours, favourite food, favourite destination spots, blah blah blah. Now, give it a twist. Follow these few steps and you can change the landscape of your relationship!

It's simple;

1. Ask him/her which one he/she prefers, either "A" or "B".

2. For example, you ask question #1: Black OR White?

3. Your partner must answer either Black or White. It can't be both, can't be none.

4. Take turns. Your partner can ask the same question back if he/she wants.

5. If your partner asks the same question back to you, he/she must be either a boring person, or it's a good question. Well, example question #1 is definitely boring if you were asked back. At least change the colour for God's sake!

6. You MUST NOT elaborate nor justify your question. Only "This OR That?", that's it. It's up to you on which angle you are coming from, and which angle your partner is answering from. That's one of the fun parts of this game.

7. Try to develop the direction and the intensity of your questions gradually. You are not advised to start your early questions with something like, "Buried OR Cremated?" or, "Fuck OR Fucked?". Unless you worship Marilyn Manson.

8. You can go on like I said, gradually for example, "Beef OR Chicken?", "Plain OR Plaid?" and so on. Gradually.

9. The interesting part of this game is that your question can be very tricky. For example, "Chicken OR Egg?". WTF, right? It doesn't matter. It's a game played by a madly-in-love couple, it's meant to be WTF anyway. But the one asking the question might ask it to know which one his/her partner likes to eat more, OR, might be he/she wants to know what the partner thinks of which one comes first (you know, the "chicken and egg" scenario).

10. Get what I'm trying to explain? No? Great. Next.

11. The game will naturally gain its momentum. Both will try to think of a better, harder or trickier questions. Often it leads to a more intimate and sexually-teasing ones. That's the whole idea. From verbal to physical to imagination to anything, related or non-related to the relationship (the last one usually happens when you both are either drunk or stoned. Either way it's totally fine. Just don't drink and drive. Smoke and fly.)

12. I'll give you an example of how the questions can be really interesting, challenging, and tricky. If you're smart enough, you can come up with a double-meaning questions, consistently. Okay one by one. I'll list down few set of questions, you might even try it later:

i. Amsterdam OR Paris?
ii. Great Wall or Pyramid?
iii. Cristiano Ronaldo OR Lionel Messi?
iv. Nike OR Adidas?
v. Ferrari OR Lamborghini?

13. Erkk, might sound a little bit boring yeah. Anyway those were just some examples. Remember, never elaborate, and keep the momentum gaining, gradually.

14. It's also very useful if you know how to deliver questions. I was once asked, "Brown OR Pink?" I was like, "You serious??" Truth is, I'm not keen in both colours but I had to think before I answer. Or another question asked to me, "Desert OR Snow?" I can't stand cold weather not even air-cond in my room and yet desert is pretty much fucked up too, no? So in a way it helps you understand yourself better.

15. You may bring up the tempo with something more related to you or your partner. This is good for both to get to know each other better, with a pinch of fun. For example:

i. Tall Or Short?
ii. Slim OR Plump?
iii. Curly OR Straight?
iv. Kiss OR Hug?
v. Tan OR Fair?

16. Anything between the line. One reminder though, please THINK before you ask any questions. You need to be diplomatic and polite, and be gentle to your partner. Most importantly, this is a game, not a war. Don't start one unless you both enjoy make-up sex.

17. Let's go down to the more double-meaning, sexually-motivated questions:

i. Top OR Bottom?
ii. Soft OR Hard?
iii. Fast OR Slow?
iv. Hairy OR Shaved?

18. But again, don't justify your questions. Just ask and let your partner run his/her own imagination. For all he/she knows you were just asking about a horse.

19. Don't let the game go too draggy, nor too short. Set your own rules; 10 questions each, 30 minutes, however you both find comfortable.

20. Don't fight.

21. End the game with a kiss, or more. Get a room, whatever.

22. You are allowed to twist the game any way you like it. It's not my game anyway. Spread the love yao!

*******

That was it, my brilliant "22 Steps to Save The World". I've tried it, and I tell you it's really fun and it can be healthy for your relationship too if you play it wisely.

Initially, I came with this idea because I realised nowadays people seem harder to decide, to choose. Sometimes they can't decide even the simplest things. They are afraid of making decision and choice. It's bad especially at a crucial moment. So train yourself to ask (the right questions) and to answer (whether you like it or not). You're not going to live forever after all.

Try it, you'll make the difference.

Dem yuh!

Valentine Mode #3: Know your man, better.

First of all, praise to God The Almighty for who or what we are - men or women, human or animal, that we are balanced with strengths and weaknesses, equally. What is more important is how we exhaust our strengths and weaknesses the right and the wise way for the better future - not just for ourselves, but for our next generations, for the human race, and for the world where we live.

So that we would understand each other better, or more precisely, so that women understand we men better:

1. If your man is isolating himself, that means he is under great amount of stress. It may came from his workplace, it may be his car, or unsurprisingly may be your behaviors around him. However, worry not; it is only for a short period.

2. Emotion to men is just like solid rubber; it will go back to its shape even though it was squeezed and twisted under extreme condition. On the contrary, emotion to women, under a great amount of stress, reacts like waves; it never calms, even if it does, takes time.

3. When your man wants to be left alone and to be in silence, it is because his image is torn. The best way is to let him be; do not try to act smart by approaching him, hoping to talk him out of his current state of mind. Sometimes, men need some time alone to calm down before he takes the next steps. Women in the other hand tend to get upset, angry and sulk easily when faced this kind of situation. Wrong move.

4. Men normally adapt to his difficulties, unlike women. Do not be too worry if under these circumstances your man acts as if he wants to distance himself from you because naturally men feels comfortable that way. Quite the opposite, compared to women, isn’t it?

Why?

5. This is truly fascinating. God made men and women completely different; different needs, different mentality, different desires, totally on the opposite. But when they are bonded, it creates a synergy; both strengths and weaknesses complimenting each other in a very unique and mysterious way.

6. Do not seek perfection, seek understanding.

7. Men think macro perspective, as opposed to women. So do not wonder, sometimes your man paid less attention to a problem you THOUGHT is immense. You have cried a river and he has yet to drop a single tear.

8. In any quarrel, men normally stand to his point and his ego to the last bit while women will naturally give away the fight and pretend to agree for the sake of the relationship. Do not feel too bad, men are made that way; we have a winning mentality and often want to be seen as a winner although deep down our hearts, we admit our mistakes and we are willing to make some changes. Even the truth is you women are right and you have not done nothing wrong, just put the fight to an end by apologize. You want your man to do it? Bad idea. Men are known to not say sorry especially to our woman.

9. One more thing women should know about men – We love to give orders. We are born with the delusion of being in power. Do not resist nor challenge, just go with the flow and you women can do what you want to do as long as you listen to his orders. But beware, know your limit, otherwise it will get worse.


Dem yuh!

Valentine Mode #2: Modern grace gentleman.

Okay, this is almost exactly what I wish to write one of the days. But since I bumped into this entry, I will share this with you all.

Taken directly from Scott Schuman a.k.a. The Sartorialist:

Thanks everyone for all your great suggestions on books about modern manners. I can't wait to get a few and brush up on a few things before my next big dinner party.

For me, this is blogging at it's best. Being able to create a community of individuals that share information and ideas that can make the community as a whole a better place. Thank you.

One of the things I mentioned yesterday, was the "manner" of a person. "Manner" or "grace" is not something that you can learn from a book. Unfortunately, it is something you just have to be or to develop.

A great scene of modern grace on '30 Rock' the other day:

Liz and Jack went out to dinner at a very chic restaurant. As they sat down at the table, Jack immediately moved the candle from the center of the setting to the side of the table. Liz looked at him kinda funny, not understanding why he did that but, not really caring either. Later, however, when Liz reached across the table to steal some of Jack's food (as she always does), she realized he moved the candle so her sleeve wouldn't catch fire when she reached across the table. Jack's manner and grace were so attuned to her as a friend, that he knew her moves before she did. That tiny gesture ended up becoming the pivotal moment of the episode and changed the course of their business relationship.

I'm telling you guys again, women notice the small stuff. They notice the gentleness/gentlemenliness more than if you use the right fork at dinner. I'm a very lucky man, Garance notices every little kindness I offer her, she doesn't miss a thing. Knowing that makes it so much more rewarding to do even more little things for her. I'll be honest, my biggest obsession in life right now is not better shoes, more suits or a bigger career but, to simply be a more graceful man for my graceful woman.

So women, in the spirit of grace, manner and Valentine's Day, take a moment and share with us men some of the little kindnesses that your man has done for you that made your heart flutter. Us men might learn something and you might gain an even more graceful man, a gentleman.

Editor's Note: For my gay readers, I can only write this as I know it, a man loving a woman. Don't let this keep you from joining the conversation. If you have tiny acts of kindness from a boyfriend to a boyfriend, or girlfriend to a girlfriend, please share with us.

Grace is Grace.

It doesn't matter who you're lovin', it's how you're lovin'!

*******

I will write what I think about this topic soon. As for now, ladies, it's the little things. Literally.


Dem yuh!

Valentine Mode #1: Of appreciation.

"You only start to appreciate all the little things about your relationship once it ENDS."

Very thoughtful. Thanks love.


Dem yuh!