Quirky Things About Me (That Some People Don't Get)?

Ripped this from hiddie's blog. She ripped it from somebody else, and that somebody else ripped it from somebody somebody else and so on.

Frankly, I was never keen on doing this list but I kept thinking, human are unique, and why not we share some things with others? It'll make the world a more beautiful place to live in.

Sometimes, some things are just quirky.

1. I am obsessed with shoes, especially sneakers. I love footsie.
2. I choose my attire starting from shoes, then shirts/tops. It has to match. Then only the pants/jeans. Accessories are optional.
3. I MUST take a dump every morning before I go out or else I'll be swinging mood like a baseball bat.
4. While I shit every morning, I multitask. I brush my teeth with left hand and shampoo my hair with right hand. Saves a few minutes but trains my brain to work simultaneously. I wish I can do something with both my legs at the same time like brushing the toilet floor and shave my balls.
5. I boil water every morning and fill all the empty bottles. Actually every free time. I have some sort of paranoia, I'll be panicked if there's no clean water to drink in the house.
6. When I go to gym, I refuse/avoid to talk to anyone as in strangers, or make friends unless it's a hot bombshell. I need those hours to think, or to not think at all.
7. I MUST listen to Ryuichi Sakamoto's Bibo No Aozora before I go to sleep.
8. If you want my ideas, get me some weed. I'll mindfuck you to your bones.
9. I learn piano because I want to learn how to control 10 fingers, both legs, and my eyes at the same time, playing the same music, but in different movements and timing. Seriously, piano mindfucked me.
10. I love to mindfuck myself. It's like playing chess on your own, against yourself. One part of the brain is trying to win over the other. How fucked up is that?
    
11. I am fascinated by HUMAN BEHAVIOR. I love to profile people. Just profiling, not judging. I want to be a MENTALIST.
12. I am fascinated by WORDS. Punch-lines, mostly.
13. I am terrified with SNAKES. I almost passed out every goddamn time I see a snake.
14. I am trying so hard to overcome that fear. I think one day I'll just jump into a pool of snakes and see if I'll still be alive after 5 seconds.
15. I'm an adrenaline junkie. I love the idea of living on the edge.
16. I can't differentiate left and right if you ask me instantly i.e while driving. I repeat, instantly. I'm not that retarded okay. I got that from my ex-girlfriend. Thank you, at least there's something about you that I inherit.
17. I can smoke 20 sticks of cigarettes a day, for months or years, and stop the next day, for months or years, with minute withdrawal symptoms. I smoke to socialize. I socialize every day, because I am a human. Stop smoking cigarettes or even weed, or even join a gangster clan, or play poker ONLINE! Get a fucking life.
18. I bet to lose. I give presents to people not to hope that one day I'll receive something back in return from them. But I did/gave it because I don't know if I'll ever see them again tomorrow.
19. I love my friends but I know friendships come and go. I don't overdo my friendship. If they want to stay friends with me, I really appreciate it and keep them safe and happy with me. If not, I just let go. It'll be much easier to be friends with little expectation. But I do have a few REAL FRIENDS though.
    
20. I can live alone. I can. I don't feel anything if no one calls or texts me for days. I think I want to go to a place where I lost my sense in communication and direction, and see if I can make it out.
21. I am a quirk.
    

Some get it, some don't.
Some will, some won't.
Those that do, do.
Those that don't, they just don't.

Dem yuh!

Fool.

*******

Any fool can hit, but only REAL FIGHTERS can evade a hit.

*******

Who dresses like this these days anyway? ME.

Dem yuh!

Mengapa menjadi pemandu teksi LEBIH BEST daripada menjadi pemandu kapal terbang

1. Boleh usha awek-awek tepi jalan.

2. Boleh borak-borak dengan penumpang.

3. Apa barang pakai auto-pilot.

4. Pejuang alam sekitar. Terima kasih NGV.

5. Peluang kena sambar kilat adalah rendah.

6. Boleh drift kalau penumpang request.

7. Gua belum pernah jumpa video lucah Pemandu Teksi Terlampau.

Ini nombor 8

Dem yuh!

Where it matters..

I have few counselors a.k.a mentors a.k.a lifesavers or whatever-you-wanna-call-it. We all need that. As genius or independent as we think we are, we still need support in many terms; life, monetary, emotion, business, you name it.

For example, my counselors are my own father, my uncle Kem and my cousins, Khaide and Khaidi. Simple. They are my core mentors. Core means, whenever I'm like on the edge of my life, I'll go and meet them and seek advice.

I've written couple of entries about my uncle Kem and his advises and thoughts, especially in economic and business. Today I wanna write what my cousin Khaidi says about how to handle your job well in terms of operations, delivering promises and managing expectations.

Here's what he has to say.

*******

I don't want to get involved in operations but fundamentally we need to know what our job scope really entails before we unconsciously make our life more difficult.


What percent of the decision is made based upon the product/solution?


The correct answer is: 30 percent!

Actually, it’s more like 29 percent, according to a study of buying habits conducted by a systems integration company that does CRM and Sales 2.0. (BLUEWOLF). According to that study, B2B decision-makers, on average make buying decision based upon the following criteria:

• 16 percent politics
• 23 percent chemistry*
• 32 percent trust/understanding*
• 29 percent solution

What’s exciting about this fact is that two of these elements — chemistry and trust/understanding — are very much within your control.

You can’t always influence the customer’s internal politics (shouldn't even if you can) and, much of the time, you’re selling solutions already fixed by your agency.

Even so, you can always use your sales skills to build better rapport and deeper levels of trust and understanding. And that’s over 50 percent of the decision-making criteria.

By the way, the above figure explain why sales efforts that focus on “features and functions” don’t work — those elements are responsible for less than a third of the decision-making process. So no way should they dominate your process.

This is not about mere lip service. This is not blowing smoke up the clients ass or buddy-buddy or being chummy with suppliers. This is not a Malaysian culture/problem. This is human nature. It applies everywhere. Emotional intelligence is our business.

So ask yourself, is your job (YOU) really more about coming out with solutions or:

1. Priming the relationship (client/agency) through chemistry
2. Build trust through managing expectations and delivering promises
3. Discussing situation, beliefs, approach and interpretation to arrive to an understanding

Of course you have to manage projects and solve problems but all that means nothing without first ensuring chemistry, trust and understanding. Nobody will be interested in your solution/best-idea if you're a hard-headed-jackass. On the other hand, if you're tight with the clients, you can get anything through. Even during the most doubtful times. Most of the time clients already know what they want to do but they just want agency to understand them first. This is when we shouldn't simply shove solutions down their throat or get involved in backroom politics. Just listen and understand, then organise and interpret their thoughts for them. Read up Aikido; redirect/use existing force/energy to achieve objective. Minimum input to achieve maximum output.

Really! they don't need smart ass solutions. They just need validation and someone to do the execution. If you can't deliver (most of the time things get complicated), communicate and manage the expectation. If you fail to communicate (miscommunication), you have failed at the core of your function (job).

80% of our issues comes from lack of communication; i.e. chemistry, trust and understanding. When you think they know, and you think they understand but the situation proves otherwise, you should learn how far you are from reality.

Who makes the decisions? Who are the stakeholders? Have you done 1, 2, and 3? Where's your leverage?

Are you spending too much time coming up with solutions? Stop thinking too long. Pick up the phone and call somebody now. Have you spent time with the clients, contractors and suppliers today? Do they really understand you? Do they trust you?


Go figure.

*******

Well, learn something or surrender yourselves to to self-chosen ignorance.

Dem yuh!

Underneath the umbrella

"You..."

"Ye..?"

"Hari ni you balik macam mana?"

"I naik bas lah, macam biasa."

"I teman you boleh?"

"My pleasure."

"No, the pleasure is mine. I'll wait down your office around 6 okay?"

"Okay, dah sampai nanti let me know tau. See ya."

Jam tangan gua sudah hampir jam 6 petang, tapi sebenarnya jam gua cepat sepuluh minit dari waktu masihi, konon-konon nak saiko diri sendiri lah sepuluh minit awal. Banyak kali gagal juga. Oke, ada sepuluh minit lagi nak siapkan surat-surat rasmi ni. Gua perah tenaga-tenaga terakhir nak siapkan kerja sebelum jam 6 berdenting.

Siap! Gua tengok jam dekat skrin komputer, 6.01 PM. Caya lah.

"You.. I dah nak gerak pergi ofis you ni. See you in about 10 minutes okay?"

"Okay, I nak kunci ofis kejap. See you downstairs."

Gua pun turun daripada ofis.

Hujan. Alamak.

"You, hujan lah. Kat ofis you ada payung tak?"

"Tak ada lah you. Tak apa lah, kita redah aja."

"You, kalau nak romantik-romantik pun, basah kuyup kejap lagi."

"Mengada."

Gua berjalan bawah hujan renyai-renyai. Tak boleh jadi ni, nanti demam pula hujan-hujan macam ni.

Gua pantas melangkah ke kedai alat tulis Jasema yang gua dah nampak papan tanda dari jauh lagi. Mamak punya bisnes mesti nak lambang besar-besar, dasar Hindustan.

"Macha, payung ada jual?"

"Sana belakang boss.", sambil dia tunjuk arah belakang ceruk kedai dia.

Celaka, kau tindas payung letak kat belakang kedai kau. Yang kat depan ni semua kau letak majalah-majalah gambar perempuan pakai seluar dalam baring tepi kolam lah, majalah Mangga tak bertamadun lah, apa lah, getas hati gua. Lantak lah, lu punya kedai, gua apa peduli.

Gua sambar payung yang paling kecil boleh muat dalam poket, bayar kat mamak tu lepas tu gua melangkah pantas.

Truut... Truut... (sms)

"You, macam lebat aja hujan ni." Gua tak reply.

He he he, gua dah cakap. Nasib baik gua sudah beli itu payung.

Sampai. Senyum lebar gua nampak buah hati. Rasa nak lari kuat-kuat, lompat, peluk. Tapi bila gua bayangkan balik tindakan tu, gua rasa mungking patah riuk dia nanti. Gua tangguhkan dulu niat tu.

"Hai...", gua sengih-sengih tak tentu pasal. Biasalah, nervous beb. Ya Allah mata dia cantiknya...

"Hai. Hujan lah, tapi tak apa kita jalan aja lah ye.."

"I tak kisah. I bawa payung. You lah jalan dalam hujan, you tak kisah ke?"

"You tak nak kongsi payung you dengan I ke?", dia buat-buat muka merajuk manja.

Yes! Memang sengaja gua beli payung paling kecil kat kedai mamak tu, satu sebab boleh letak dalam poket macam gua cakap tadi, dua sebab baru lah boleh jalan rapat-rapat dalam hujan. Pehh memang terbaik idea gua.

"Ha ha ha I gurau aja. Mestilah nak kongsi dengan you.. Apa lah you ni.", dalam hati gua ada bunga api. Tapi gua tak tahu lah bunga api boleh menyala dalam hujan atau tak.

Kitaorang pun jalan bawah payung, berpegangan tangan, dalam hujan. Sumpah gua tak pernah buat lagi benda tu, kira sebelum ni gua virgin lagi lah bab jalan bawah payung dengan gadis waktu hujan.

Dalam hati ada taman bunga dan bunga api meletup-letup...

Dem yuh!

A thinning expectation.

I used to be so into relationship, because I believed it can be my moral fiber. But honestly now, my expectation in developing a relationship, respectively in love relationship with a girl, is thinning.

Before that, let me share something about myself.

I am fascinated by human behavior. I love to analyze people, events, and ideas. I can do this all day long, and I enjoy profiling people. I mean, you can almost predict what they will do next, and sometimes you got it right, like spot on and you know you weren't just guessing, you clearly 'see' the pattern.

Some of my close friends often come to me and usually ask for so-called 'advice', or I'd prefer to call it 'opinion from a different point of view'. I'm not quite sure why they'd come to me anyway, maybe I love to listen, I don't know. Well maybe I'm just being honest in my opinion(s), and I believe that's exactly what we all need now. So many dishonest people around us to a point that we don't feel comfortable or not used to being honest or receiving honest remarks.

Okay, speaking of relationship, I said earlier, my expectation is thinning. I used to have all these wild and beautiful imaginations about a perfect relationship, like loving, respect, loyal, honest, responsibility, and the sorts. But now, it's thinning. It's because of few things/incidents/cases. Things that happened to these people who came to me to seek some of my utter bullshit opinions, and things that happened to myself more than everything.

I learned a lot from my past experience, and I'm like really trying hard to not make the same mistake again and end up back at the square one again and again. But we are all human, aren't we? No matter how many times we try to learn from our mistakes, we kept ourselves busy by denying them. Self-centred, vain, selfish and ungrateful bastards we all are.

So, I see things, I listen to the drama behind all these stories, I exclude them and I go down to the core of the problem(s). Then I deliver my opinion(s). Most of them couldn't take it, or disagree with my opinion(s), which I don't mind at all. That's why they come to me in the first place, to listen to something they don't wanna hear, things that they are so busy denying. But I don't mind, everybody is entitled to their own opinion and choice. I'd still be happy I could be of a help, in any small ways.

The biggest disadvantage to me in this system is that, I can't apply it to myself. I can't. I can't read, or analyze or predict my own relationship. Why? Because like I said, whenever I deliver my opinion(s), I've excluded the drama and emotions attached to the topic. So I can't do that in my relationship, because it involves either one of those two, if not both. It's like the bomoh nombor ekor myth that they can predict your 4-digit number, but they can't do it for themselves. It's like a curse like any superheroes for example The Incredible Hulk, he's destructively strong but he's GREEN. Or take a look at Superman, he can fly and he's mighty and whatnot, but he is still until today, being laughed at for wearing the underwear outside.

Right now, like literally now, I'm really not sure about myself. I really like this one girl, but I just don't know what to do. If I show too much attention, she'll get bored, if I don't, she might think that I'm not that into her. Should I put some standard of expectation? Or should I not, at all? I'm sure she knows that I like her, a lot. But she keeps giving me these mixed signals you know, one day she'd be very attending and caring, the next day she didn't text me at all.

Is she taking me for a ride around town, for sight-seeing? I don't know.

I know girls like her must have a lot of admirers or guys waiting in line. Yes, I am one of them but if she's smart enough, she'll know that I have so much to offer (except material). I'm a broke bloke but I have so much more than what money can buy.

I mean, I can totally understand if people wanna take things slowly, get to know each other better, make sure the right decision is made blah blah blah. But how slow does it have to be? Why can't we just skip all the slow parts, move straight away to establishing a real and steady relationship and enjoy the moment while we still have it? Time is the most important resource of all, and it's not ours. Time is the only thing we can't take back, or go around.

Imagine this; it's like both of us are sitting on a boat in the middle of a lake, and I've jumped in the water and swimming and diving and having so much fun flapping my legs and hands, and you are having fun watching me too. You wanted to jump too, but you are still afraid and unsure at the same time even though you know I'm already in the water. You keep on testing the water with your legs and hands to make sure you are ready or aware with the water temperature. But still, you didn't jump in yet, because now you are still not sure about the depth of the lake. You ask me to check out the depth, and so I did. The lake is deep, I said, but don't worry, I'm here. I'll take care of you. Still, you are not convinced. I'm all soaking wet now baby, why don't you just jump and have fun with me?

I'm all soaking wet, cold, and alone in this lake, why don't you jump and be miserable with me?

For that, I wrote something for her. Yes, YOU. You know who you are, and I know you are reading this. This is for YOU.

*******

I like challenge, that's why I like you
You're like a puzzle with no clue
Like a series of codes I'm yet to break
But I'll crack it whatever it takes

They say I don't have to put much effort
I just have to give her some carrots
Told me to play a bit with her mind
Let her slowly bite and she's all mine

What? No, she ain't no rabbit!
I don't wanna make it a habit
That's not how I pull my gambit
That's not magic, that's tragic!

(Girl) Let's put this to an end
(Girl) Let's walk together holding hands
Let me be your greatest fan
Coz you'll make me a better man

Take my finger and don't ever let go.

*******

Dem mi!

Smack them BITCHES up!

I really have to quote this from my ever-beloved cousin, Shaq, and I quote;

Dude trust me... No matter how much you bloody love someone or how much you are truthful to someone, that someone will motherfucking accuse you of being a fucking liar! Confucius was WRONGGGG son!! If you treat someone nicely, don't ever fucking expect them to return the treatment. Fuck all those who thinks I'm a fucking liar!

I did some improvisation in there as well, because I feel him, I really do and I wanna shout this motherfucking quote out to ya'll BITCHES out there! Ya heard??!!

And when I say BITCHES, I mean all the BITCHES out there, regardless you're a guy-bitch or a girl-bitch. A bitch is a bitch.

Yes I'm bitter, why? Because these bitches can't see, they can't feel obviously because they are fucking retarded, low-life breeds. When we treat you right, you give us shits back. Like tonnes of it. You think we're some shit-cleaners? But it's alright because we know how to turn shits into gold. Keep trying to make fool of us because at the end of the day, we smack them bitches up!

I got 99 motherfucking problems but A BITCH ain't fucking one.

Kids know it too.

Fak yuh!

Cracky Sunday Morning

Last night was Halloween, if I'm not mistaken. Thanks to whatever-your-name-was girl I met a couple weeks back, who's a champion for Halloween party. Seriously, what has it got to do with us Malaysians by the way? We have enough ghosts or ghost stories or incidents, more than what the Westerns have. And, our ghosts are way scarier. We don't need Halloween for ghost's sake!

Anyway, last night I stayed at home watching football and jammed some music with my cousin and housemates. I'm sure many of you guys went out for the party or watched football somewhere. Shit was funny yo, we were talking about stupid stuff and all. To my cousin Shaq, you're the bomb!

This morning, I woke up feeling cracky. Must be the last night's effect. Demmit! I wasn't sure what I want to do now. I'm kinda confused ya know. And I know most of you are having the same vibe too. It's called hangover. Ha ha ha.

So I'd like to share this one video. One good funny video. What you can do after you watched it, is to choose which one are you.

Feeling cracky? Meet spidey.

Have a lazy weekend guys.


Dem yuh!