The Fabulous Destiny.

Bonjour.

This weekend was a bit dull for me. Aydan is with her family and yes I was literally alone and I just don't know when will I be seeing her again. I'm still trying to figure out whether is being alone a good thing to practice or not. You see I have been on my own for a long, long time. My life has been really like a roller coaster, it went up and down and around. *To those who thought they know me but they actually DO NOT, save your stupid remarks and go fuck yourself*

Anyway not wanting to start a curse-entry, I will continue my initial idea for this entry. *I just woke up and my mood is swinging like a cradle of filth*

Okay, deep breath. Deep breath.

I'm good now.

Where were we? Ahh, now I remember.

So yeah yesterday while I was alone at home (as always), I felt like watching a film. But whenever I watch a film at home I will consider many things such as what time it is (morning, afternoon, evening or night), my mood at that time (happy, sad, enlighten etc), and most importantly who I'm going to watch the movie with. You see this is VERY IMPORTANT because you don't want to have your co-watcher to make stupid boring faces or keep asking stupid questions and makes you feel like you want to slap him/her in the face so fast like a moving train.

So after considering my guidelines (minus the co-watcher as I was alone), I decided to watch a french film called Le fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain (English: The Fabulous Destiny of Amélie Poulain). French? What's so good about them?

I was actually being introduced to this film by Aydan about a month or so ago. I watched them in her MacBook but I had to stop after about 15 minutes because I had to catch another important thing that time. And coincidentally my housemate, Ami brought the DVD home last week. How cool is that?!

I decided to watch this film because 1) I know from few reliable people and by heart that this film is awesome 2) Aydan loves the movie so much 3) I miss her so bad and I know she'll be more than happy if she knows that I've watched it.

And watch I did.

I am suppose to review this film but I just don't know where and how to start. Just start then, goddamnit! Okay. This film is so well directed by Jean-Pierre Jeunet and the main character that shaped the film so beautiful is Audrey Tautou as Amélie Poulain. (Audrey played as Sophie Neveu in the 2006's The Da Vinci Code)

Le fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain or Amélie, is a movie about Amélie, an innocent and naive girl in Paris, with her own sense of justice, decides to help those around her and along the way, discovers love.

I don't really know how to review this. Seriously. What I can say is, that, this movie is so good and every details in it (storyline, plots, characters, props, cinematography, scripts etc I don't know what else I'm not a film maker!) are really strong and 120-whimsical-minutes passed by like a blink of an eye. The colour of the movie is so vibrant and bright almost constantly, everything from her father's gnome to the fruits at a marché looks alive. It's almost like a fairy tale but no fairy was found though. (Ahh, come on, we all love fairy tales, don't we?)

Through the movie, I discovered many things but most significantly one thing. Little things in life. Life is too short not to do things that makes you happy. It's lame I know, but until you try it, you'll never know. This is a perfect lighthearted movie. Thank you to my beautiful beloved Aydan.

Smile is the second best thing you can do with your lips

My rate for this film: 9.5/10!


Dem yuh!

Health: Virus Influenza A Type H1N1

Tahun 2009 ini kita dikejutkan lagi dengan virus terbaru yang dapat menimbulkan penyakit iaitu Swine Flu atau nama manja tempatannya Selsema Babi.

Virus Selsema Babi adalah kumpulan dari virus influenza yang dapat menyebabkan selsema atau flu pada babi, di mana virus yang menyebabkan wabak selsema pada manusia ini berasal dari jenis virus Influenza A type H1N1. Secara genetik virus ini juga ditemukan sebagai sebahagian dari selsema manusia, atau juga selsema burung.

Justeru, untuk upaya pencegahan penularan selsema babi ini kita dapat melakukan beberapa langkah sederhana, seperti berikut:

1. Jangan berjabat tangan dengan babi yang sedang selsema (selain akan dijangkiti selsema oleh babi, anda juga akan dianggap orang gila).

2. Jangan berciuman dengan babi yang sedang selsema (apatah lagi yang ini, anda tidak mahu dilihat orang sedang berciuman dengan babi bukan?).

3. Cucilah tangan setelah anda bergomol dengan babi di kandang babi.

3. Jangan suka mengucapkan kata 'babi' kepada orang lain (contoh: babi, lu!).

4. Jangan tidur di sebelah babi.

5. Jangan menerima babi sebagai teman anda di facebook kerana dia dapat meng-harvest teman-teman anda di facebook.

6. Jika anda memang memelihara babi, sediakan selalu sapu tangan/tissue untuk babi-babi anda untuk menutup hidung dan mulutnya bila bersin.

7. Hindarilah berenang di kolam renang babi, setidaknya pada ketika ini.

8. Jangan mem-forward email ini kepada babi-babi, dikhuatiri mereka akan tahu sehingga mencari cara lain untuk menularkan penyakit ini.

9. Hindari memakai segala aksessori babi (t-shirt gambar babi, anting-anting babi, rantai berloket babi, key chain babi, patung babi dan lain-lain lagi), babi-babi yang sedang selsema itu mungkin akan beranggapan anda bersimpati dengan mereka, sehingga kemungkinan mereka akan menyerbu anda untuk meminta perlindungan kerana pada ketika ini banyak pihak yang sedang memburu untuk membunuh mereka.

10. Salah satu yang juga penting adalah agar para penternak untuk segera menyedarkan diri dan kembali ke jalan yang benar sebelum tercipta varian baru virus tersebut; Selsema Penternak Babi.

Oleh itu, sentiasalah kita berhati-hati dan tidak terjerumus ke lembah babi yang maha durjana.

Mangsa pertama Selsema Babi

Dem yuh!

The 80/20 Rule

In most cases, especially in relationships, you will only get 80% of what you NEED and you will hardly get the other 20% that you WANT in your relationship. There is always another person (man or women) that you will meet and that will offer you the other 20% which is lacking in your relationship that you WANT and believe me, 20% looks really good when you are not getting it at all in your current relationship.

But the problem is that you will always be tempted to leave that good 80% that you know you have, thinking that you will get something better with the other 20% that you WANT. But as reality has proven, in most cases, you will always end up with having the 20% that you WANT and losing the 80% that you really NEED and that you already had. Be careful in deciding between what you WANT and NEED in your life.

Adultery (I call this because when you are attached to someone, you are committed to them, therefore cheating is considered an act of ADULTERY) happens when you start looking for what you don't have. "Wow, this girl in my office is a real looker. But it's not her Natalie Portman features that got me. I'm crazy about her because she's also understanding, intelligent, tender - so many things that my girlfriend is not". Somewhere along the way, you'll find a woman or a man who will be more charming or sensitive. More alluring. More thoughtful. Richer. Have greater sex appeal. And you will find a woman or man who will need you and pursue you and go loco over you more than your significant other ever did.

Because no man or woman is perfect. Because your partner will only have 80% of what you're looking for. So adultery takes place when a he or she looks for the missing 20%. Let's say your girlfriend is melancholic by nature.You may find yourself drawn to the pretty clerk who has a cherry laugh no matter what she says: "I broke my arm yesterday, hahahaha...", OR because your girlfriend is a homebody in slippers and pajamas, smelling of garlic and fish oil, you may fall for a fresh-smelling young sales representative that visits your office in a sharp black blazer, high heels, and a red pencil-cut skirt. OR because your boyfriend is the quiet type, your heart may skip a beat when you meet an old college flame who has the makings of a talk show host.

But wait! That's only 20% of what you don't have.

Don't throw away the 80% that you already have!

That's not all. Add to your partner's 80% the 100% that represents all the years that you have been with each other. The storms you have weathered together. The unforgettable moments of sadness and joy as a couple. The many adjustments you have made to love the other. The wealth of memories that you've accumulated as lovers.

Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have. But faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already have.

But I'm not just talking about relationship.

I'm talking about life!

About your jobs.
About your friends.
About your lifestyles.

Are you like the economy airline passenger that perennially peeks through the door of the first class cabin, obsessed with what you're missing? "They have got more leg room! Oh my, their food is served in porcelain! Wow, their seats recline at an 80% angle and they've got personal videos!"

I guarantee you'll be miserable for the entire trip! Don't live your life like that. Forget about what the world says is first class. Do you know that there are many first class passengers who are miserable in first class -- because they are not riding in a private Lear Jet?

The main message???

If you start appreciating what you have right now, wherever you are, you are FIRST CLASS!

This is why men get married

Dem yuh!

Listen to: Stonebay - Si Murai Penipu (Latest Single)

Last night, may cousin Shaq (KNUKE Chairman) and I went to Laundry Bar to watch some local bands performing. We were later joined by Iedil (hey Iedil kongsi-kongsi lah sikit wang kemenangan Pop Kuiz itu!), Rashdan, Rendra and few other close friends. It was pretty good night with four band performing if I'm not mistaken; John's Mistress, Car Crash Hearts, Prema Yin and Nitrus. Again, I forgot to bring my camera. Fuck.

Anyways, I bumped into Senthil Raja @ Sen, One Buck Short's manager which happened to be the booking agent for quite a number of bands apart from OBS including Bittersweet, Bunkface, Love Me Butch, They Will Kill Us All and Deja Voodoo Spells. If you guys ever want to get these bands to perform for your show/gig/party, email Sen at sen@onebuckshort.com *promo promo Sen you better give me some commision!*

Story goes...

While I was chilling with Shaq and my long-lost-but-same-age nephew Marwan (damn I missed you big boy! - Marwan is my eldest late-uncle's first grandson. Go figure), I saw few familiar faces, couple of tables across. Ahh! It was Ojie, Ashroff and Afiq from the ever-cool band Stonebay. Went to their table, shook hands and chatted for a while. It happened that they just came back from an interview with XFreshFM (Seriously I don't know what's the deal, some says XFM, some says XFreshFM but yeah whatever). Cool band with definitely cooler guys on the plane. And what makes it cooler than cool, they just launch their latest single exclusively at XFresh last night as well, Si Murai Penipu (hence, the title of my entry). And much to my surprise, they were really generous to have given me a copy of the single. Thank you guys.

Stonebay from left: Afiq, Ojie, Roni, Ashroff

Okay, so today I had to listen to the single and let you guys know what I think about it. Before that, let me tell you guys something about Stonebay. I met these cool dudes (Ojie, Ashroff, Afiq and Roni) when they agreed to perform for Eco Film Fest 2008 at ASWARA last October. Salute!

Stonebay at Eco Film Fest 2008

Their music is something different, something fresh I can say. Yes, I am not being biased just because they are my friends, but seriously they don't really follow the "rules" and just go with their own definition of MUSIC. That's exactly what we need now. This is what we call INDEPENDENT MUSIC. And yes, they actually play rock/alternative but they remind me of my all-time favourite band, Butterfingers.

Si Murai Penipu!

So what about this new single?

Catchy title. Seriously it's a good song. Well composed. It's a rock&roll-ish song to my ears. Every band members did their job; the solo, the bass lines, the drum strokes and to the whole arrangement of this song. Well produced. I always have respect for bands that put 100% effort by each members. Whenever I listen to their song, I know it's Stonebay sound. Maybe this is a response to Merpati Sejoli by Butterfingers? I can only say so much but guys I seriously recommend you all to listen to Stonebay.

Check out their official blog at
http://stonebay.blogspot.com

And don't forget to check out their latest single at
http://www.myspace.com/stonebaymusic

Rock you don't stop!

Dem yuh!

5 Minutes Management Lesson

To end the week. Enjoy.

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies.
"Great," the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
====================================================================

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest apologized, "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
====================================================================

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."
Puff! She's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life."
Puff! He's gone.
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
====================================================================

Lesson 4:

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered, "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
====================================================================

Lesson 5:

A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree" sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull, "they're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..
====================================================================

Lesson 6:

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he felt.
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!


THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE.

And share this to those bright people who have enough sense of humor to take it!
And if you don't, who cares ??


Dem yuh!

All in the midst of flu.

Hopefully my flu will not have anything to do with the swine flu. I mean it. It's not funny okay. Even though I believe a few or some people want me dead. Well, too bad, not just yet haters! Ha ha..

I am so lazy to write nowadays, maybe because I am in the mood of reading. Speaking of which, I've finished reading two books. The first one:

Drunken dog

It's called The Curious Incident of The Dog In The Night-Time by Mark Haddon. This book is the winner for 2003 Whitbread Awards (it is called Costa Book Awards since 2006), it's about a teenager by the name of Christopher Boone, who is autistic but he has a superbly logical brain. I won't say anything else. You should read this. No, you MUST.

Second book:

One day is more than enough

It's called For One More Day by Mitch Albom. He is the author for I think another six books including Tuesdays with Morrie and Five People You Meet in Heaven. In the book I read, it tells the story of a retired baseball player named Charley "Chick" Benetto, who tried to take his own life due to his frustration over his miserable life. This is one sad story, not really my cup of tea but it's still really good and not too long. (Both books are around 200 pages)

And, lastly I found something when I was cleaning up my room. For that, I have something to say.

Some get it, some don't. Some will, some won't.
Those that do, do. Those that don't, don't.

Twenty passed five

All in the midst of flu.


Dem yuh!

Cherry Lips

What I wrote down here says everything.

Cherry Lips

Oh cherry lips,
A kiss long and deep,
The taste I will keep.

Oh cherry lips,
The feelings you unzipped,
With your passionate grip.

Oh cherry lips,
It's like watching full eclipse,
On a holiday trip.

Oh cherry lips,
So sweet and rip,
Like chocolate chips.

Oh cherry lips,
Please let me strip,
My soul in your sleep.

by Fad. It's true.



I lob yuh!

Boy with a coin.

The unique sound of Iron & Wine by Sam Beams. Simplicity, sweet melodies yet dark and haunting. Thanks to Rashdan Harith for introducing this song to me. Enjoy peeps.

Boy with a coin he found in the weeds
With bullets and pages of trade magazines
Close to a car that flipped on the turn
When God left the ground to circle the world

Hey--- Oh----

Girl with a bird she found in the snow
That flew up her gown, and that's how she knows
That God made her eyes for crying at birth
Then left the ground to circle the earth

Hey--- Oh----

Boy with a coin he crammed in his jeans
Then making a wish, and tossed in the sea
Then walked to a town that all of us burned
When God left the ground to circle the world

Hey--- Oh----
Hey--- Oh----

Boy with a coin.


Dem yuh!

I don't deserve anything.

People come and go in my life faster than I change my boxer myself. Was I being too difficult to be friend with? Was I not a good person for you? Was I not there when you needed help? Did I ever ditched you when you need help, support, motivation? Tell me something I probably don't understand here.

If I was a bad person to you, forgive me. If I was being ignorant to you, forgive me.

If sacrifice is something you can't make, if risk is something you can't take, just burn me and throw my ashes away.

I don't deserve anything.


Dem mi!

Pick-up: April's FULL!

"Pick-up" is not about picking up girls, it's so lame. Seriously to all the guys out there, get a life.

My definition of "Pick-up" is basically buying something, same as shopping but more significant to my passion. As for me, it's always sneakers and anything related to fashion. I don't post my pick-up of groceries because it does not make any sense to my passion.

I have not updated anything about my pick-ups. In fact, I think I've never had this kind of entry yet. Well guess what, I will try and start this special "Pick-up" entry, starting this month! It's gonna be a monthly thing, where I'll be writing about stuff that I bought for the month.

Let us start now. This will be for the month of April 2009.

First up, is the Adidas Kegler Super! It's super! And in it's original colorways! I've rocked them quite a few times already. Adidas is my new craze! You can find this sweeties at selected Adidas Originals stores around South East Asia. *ehem-ehem* KLCC *hint hint*

Hail Kegler!

Second up, is the Nike Dunk Hi Vandal Premium in black/black colorway with super-fine full nylon material. The good thing about this nylon material is that, it doesn't creased easily and yes, it looks super-shiny and super-rich too! Grab them at Sole What? now!

Darth suit.

Owh shit I forgot. It comes with a set of pink laces. PINK. And yes it looks mighty fine and cute too, believe me. Pink is not for girls anymore. Girls, just move on with it.

With a darther bow-tie...

Third pick-up of the month, is this classy yet simple Pedro leather shoes for my formal wear. This is rather unusual for the family, but hey the other shoes are professionals so they totally understand. Yes I have to wear it for my meetings or any other formal purposes, though I believe I can still wear it with shorts and polo shirt. Will try that later.

Welcome to the family pendejo..

Next, is something that I've posted before I got my hands on it. This hustler came all the way from Germany. The flight was delayed, and this hustler had some troubles with the authorities regarding the permits or visa to stay in Malaysia forever. Well he must be really excited to meet the new Master a.k.a BudakNakal.

Coming soon?????? No!!!!!!!

Finally (so sweet he brought a souvenir for me)

Yes this is a pair of Puma R698 x Solebox. I like it very much. Nice colorways, different materials used on the shoes (suade, mesh, what else) and it's only sold in Solebox. <-- Check their website! And we received a cool surprise, a light-beeping laces or whatever they call it. I'll try to lace it up later to TAG night ha ha!

Looks like a pair of handcuffs.. Me likey kinky from Germany...

Light me up bitch!

Deutschland delicacy...

Finally, the last pair. But this last pair are not sneakers. It's in a different category. It's a pair of jeans. Yes. Finally a dark black (I wonder if there's less-dark black or light black) slim-cut jeans for me (Can't wear skinny jeans coz my knots don't fit!). It's from McQ by Alexander McQueen.

Alexander McQueen is one of my favourite designer. He designs something different and in a way, his name just fits the aura. Like a rockstar, ain't it? I got these pair from M Store for Men at The Gardens, Mid Valley. Brought to you by Melium Group. Go check them out biatches!

Crime scene..

M is for...

Devil from valley of the darkness...

Micro-focus (this is solely for Joe Alif)

April's FULL!


Dem yuh!

Installing a HUSBAND.

Dear Technical Support Team,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
* Romance 9.5 and
* Personal Attention 6.5,

and then installed undesirable programs , such as

* NHL 5.0,
* NFL 3.0 and
* Golf Clubs 4.1

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House-cleaning 2. 6 simply crashes the system.

* Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate Housewife.

------------------------------------------------------------

Response from Technical Support- uPerintis

------------------------------------------------------------


Dear Desperate Housewife,

First, keep in mind,
* Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
* Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
* If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
* Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to re - install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend:
* Cooking 3.0 and
* Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck Desperate Housewife.


uPerintis Technical Support Team

Dem yuh!

Veni, Vidi, Vici.

Malam tadi gua dah tidur dulu, sebab makan ubat batuk Cap Kepala Lutut Unta yang sungguh mengkhayalkan. Tambah pulak dengan Polaramine 2mG (Perhatian: Ubat ini boleh menyebabkan mengantuk. Jangan membawa kenderaan), Budenase AQ (Budesonide Aqueous Nasal Spray) untuk masalah pernafasan hiperventilasi gua serta minyak Bio-Oil (minyak ini mengandungi bahan-bahan yang aktif seperti vitamin A dan E serta gabungan minyak tumbuhan asli seperti Lavender ape benda, Kalendula bukan cerita Caligula, Rosemary bukan Bloody Mary dan Kamomil bukan Farid Kamil okay) yang gua sedang apply sekitar muka untuk merawat kesan-kesan degil parut jerawat konkrit yang lampau, memang jangan harap gua boleh bangun sendiri. Gua minta Ami tolong kejutkan gua dari tidur jam 2.30 pagi.

Ami kejutkan gua seperti yang dijanjikan. Ami memang berpegang pada janji, walaupun masa kat sekolah dulu dia dinamakan Snake. Sendiri mau ingat lah. Mungkin dia Snake bab lain contohnya bab menipu cikgu atau hero bab fly atau Snake kepada kaum-kaum wanita. Itu lu orang kena tanya dia sendiri. Gua tak nak gosip liar.

Bila Ami kejut gua agak-agak jam 2.35 pagi, gua masih dalam khayal. Gua surrender. Tapi 5 minit selepas tu, Ami datang lagi sekali dia ckp,"Woi bangun ass, GOL!". Untuk pengetahuan anda semua, panggilan "ass" atau dalam bahasa Malaysia ialah "bontot" merupakan panggilan am kami terhadap kawan-kawan. Seperti mana orang lain memanggil yang lainnya 'bro' atau 'bai' atau 'dude' atau apa saja, 'ass' ini lebih mesra kerana sekali-sekala panggilan itu disusuli dengan spank pada bontot, lebih mesra dan romantik bukan? Terima kasih kepada John si Syaitan Bertopengkan Manusia yang memulakan panggilan 'ass' ini.

Sambung cerita, Ami kejut gua dia cakap GOL. Gua komfem ingat dia tipu saja nak suruh gua bangun. Tapi riak muka dia menunjukkan yang sebaliknya. Terpancar di muka dia yang tak berapa nak cerah itu, seolah-olah cahaya keinsafan + kepuasan + kegembiraan. Gua yang otak pun tak stabil lagi, teru lompat dari tilam dosa gua dan terhuyung-hayang keluar bilik.

BETUL!

Pa-wer Ji-Sung. Minit 7.

Gua dah gembira lah, tapi masih skeptik mungkin Arse-anal akan berhenti jadi gay dan main betul-betul. Baru gua nak adjust posisi gua atas sofa, gua ternampak keindahan terpancar dari kaca TV.

GOLL!!!!

Cristiano Ronaldo. Minit 10.

Lepas tu gua cakap kat Ami, gua tengah drowsy lagi. Effect ubat-ubat masih menggeletek otak gua. Jadi gua akan tidur dan bangun berselang-seli ikut kesedapan effect ubat tersebut.

Half time. Mungkin Red Devils akan main defensive sikit ke, acah-acah Gunners ke lepas ni. Gua agak-agak saja.

Gua tertidur lagi. Effect ubat ni memang agak holy. Malam esok gua nak layan Barca-Chelsea pun mesti jadi benda yang sama.

GOLLL!!!

Ronaldo lagi. Minit 60.

Sealed the deal with a flying kiss. Gua dah tak tahan kepala goyang, gua masuk sambung tidur. Bangun online, tengok 3-1 (van Persie, 75') dan tumpang kesian dekat Fletcher kena kad merah. Itu lah siapa suruh nyanyi tak masuk key. Kan dah kena reject dengan Ajai.

Kepada sesiapa yang berkenaan, belajarlah menerima kekalahan serta realiti kehidupan. Tak guna nak masuk kelab ABU (Anything But United), tolonglah hidup ada pendirian, jangan jadi lalang. Tak kisah kalau lu nak sokong Stoke City ke WBA ke gua masih respek sama lu. Jadilah positif sikit dalam hidup, jangan hidup nak benci semua benda. The world does not revolve around you.

Rome, here we come. Forza, Red Devils!

Veni Vidi Vici.

Dem yuh!

Thank you, and thank YOU.

First of all thank you very much to everyone who wished for my health, wealth and stealth for the coming years.

I would rather not post any related picture here, because the celebrations were nasty. Plural. I'm so happy, delighted and grateful to have celebrated it with key people in my life. My parents, my family, my cousins, my best friends, my friends, my colleagues.

But most of all, over three days of celebratory slushees, the best gift I received was actually exactly one minute before the midnight of the 3-day-3-night gala celebration ended. One minute. Just when I thought I would've missed it again this year.

A gift, or a love, is something money can't buy. Or at least I believe in that idea. That's why it's called a gift, or love for that matter.

Anyway, my wish for this year:

Somebody please pretty please...

Thank you, and thank YOU.


Dem yuh!