Chit-chat..

Had a conversation with someone very important to me. I will only address that person as Taiko. Taiko is a lady, like Sister Thirteen in Young & Dangerous.

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BudakNakal:
anyway, i wrote something for the 'uptight girl' i was talking about. u remember? the girl that i like?

Taiko:
ahhaa... in ur blog ke?

BudakNakal:
yea

Taiko:
oh yeah?

BudakNakal:
yea, it's like a counter-strike haha. tensen la dia uptight gile! kalo bole i nak spanar je dia tu, biar longgar sket

Taiko:
hhahahahah.. challenging sket... baru la thrill.... x nak try lg ke?

BudakNakal:
nak la tapi dia ni uptight sgt, i nak kena overhaul nak tune dia

Taiko:
uptight??

BudakNakal:
yea

Taiko:
uptight sgt how?

BudakNakal:
ye la, isnt it obvious? u see, when a guy likes her (me), dia patut rasa flattered, rasa teruja, u know what im sayin? regardless i ni hensem ke, burok ke miskin ke apa ke. ye la, org suka kita, mesti la kita rasa best kan, in a way. don't u think? but, dia bole ckp "i like u as a friend". uptight la tu

Taiko:
haha... ada2 je la u ni...

BudakNakal:
then, she's seeing a guy.but based on her story, mamat tu agak menyakitkan hati la, x sensitive, tak caring, tak macam2 lg

Taiko:
then u cucuk la jarum

BudakNakal:
dia pon sebenarnye agak kecewa ngan mamat tu, tapi ntah la apasal she still crazy about that guy. sikit2 that guy, sikit2 that guy, still getting herself attached for what i know that guy doesn't love her, and she is not certain about her feelings as well

Taiko:
how u know all this info? she told u?

BudakNakal:
i know la. and then, she doesnt like to go to clubs ke apa ke sumer masalah2 remaja ni la, which is fine with me, and i find that attractive too coz i pon x suka pompuan gila club, but that doesnt mean she cant go have fun right? watch people do cheesy and stupid dancing, be around her love ones, all those things

Taiko:
aik? btul2 mara nampak?

BudakNakal:
dan yang paling i bengang, her screw-up guy is so ignorant, x peduli pasal dia, tapi dia still nak lagi jumpa mamat tu, still melayan mamat tu punya screw-up mind, padahal i ada jer kat sini, to be her ears, lend her my shoulders, to advise her on life, to take care of her

BudakNakal:
she's uptight and she doesn't wanna open herself up coz she thinks nothing last forever, everything is temporary

BudakNakal:
im not angry, im upset

Taiko:
so what do u wanna do about it?

BudakNakal:
im trying so hard to make people see things differently. i dont know, really coz to me, if i tell her, "please look at things this way", that would sound like she's stupid, isnt it?

Taiko:
look...

BudakNakal:
why does she have to be sad when the guy can't see more of her, while i am here to be the one who takes care of her? to listen to all her bullshits

Taiko:
if u really2 like this girl then do something about it....

BudakNakal:
something like what?

Taiko:
anything that u can think of to get her... do whatever it takes..

BudakNakal:
hahaa. u're funny.. u serious? anything?

Taiko:
yeah! anything.. it seems to me that u r crazy bout this girl...

BudakNakal:
such as?

Taiko:
god!!! impress her la...

BudakNakal:
like?

Taiko:
ish!

BudakNakal:
if u la, u nak laki buat apa kat u?

Taiko:
this is not about me.....

BudakNakal:
im asking u

Taiko:
every individual is different...

BudakNakal:
i know. im asking u

Taiko:
y me? y dont u ask her instead?

BudakNakal:
im asking u

Taiko:
attention, affection, caress.. thats what i think she's lack of... so, u kena la byk bersabar.....

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Meanwhile, I read this somewhere: The guys who are hearing "I only want to be friends" are not generating any attraction at all.
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BudakNakal:
fuck

Taiko:
uve finally open up ur heart for some1 else... that is a good start dont u think?

BudakNakal:
i dont know. my heart is still attached somewhere. and if no one's willing to sacrifice, and make effort to get it, what's the point?

BudakNakal:
why do i have to take it back and offer to someone, when nobody is willing to fight for my heart? why do i have to offer it for free? and end up, being torn away again, and again?

BudakNakal:
u see why i dont wanna try so hard, to any of the girls, coz i dont see any point of me sacrificing my heart to someone that is too 'blind' to see what i have in me, my certain qualities, my affection, my love for them?

BudakNakal:
thus, i only do it half way. the other half, must come from the other party. in other way it means effort. relationship is a two-way traffic, no?

BudakNakal:
yes, maybe im not attractive, or i rather say, i failed to portray attraction to her. well, what can i do? i met her once, we talk about 30 seconds only. the rest was just trying to make her 'see' me without 'seeing' me.

Taiko:
hey... c'mon.. dont give up now...

BudakNakal:
this is not giving up. this is reality check. she needs to 'see' this with her heart. i cant explain this

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The rest were irrelevant. Anyway, this is a fiction.

Dem yuh!