Monday, March 30, 2009


Actually I have something I really want to write. I never had the courage, never had the balls. I kept beating around the bush (well if it's the real 'bush' then I wouldn't complain, would I?). It's actually a letter. To someone. I hope she reads this and... I hope she feels it. And, try to imagine when a business development executive writes a love letter.


Dear xxxxx (don't get me wrong, I don't know what fake name should I address you as - it's not like you are a pornstar or something),

I am writing this letter to 1) tell you what I am going to tell you, 2) tell it to you, and 3) tell you what I told you.

I am going to tell you about my crush for you. I will concisely explain in brief so that you will get the gist of the whole thing.

Executive Summary:
It's simple, I like you. I have a crush on you. I saw you, I met you, you conquered me. Currently I am at 50% of my authorized share capital of love. Thus, I need the same amount of additional love-funding from you to meet the ideal concept of our unique relationship system and generate 100% of the euphoric love-effect. I am positioning myself for an initial public consideration from you.

The Company:
I was incorporated in May 1983 with issued share capital of $$$ (that's a lot, I can't mention in public). The founders Mr. AB (my dad) and Mrs. RK (my mum) are well known for their strategic partnership and management. Thus, I am the final product of a well-dedicated research and experience.

The Product:
As I mentioned earlier, I am the product; a PACKAGE of a truly unique hardware and software with additional value-added-services, plus a well-maintained and in considerably healthy condition. Obviously there will be no one like me, trust me. I have been tested in various fields and unimaginable harsh conditions to make sure I am capable of delivering my purpose, which is to LOVE you unconditionally.

Corporate Strategy:
My state-or-the-art strategies confirmed the success of this proposition. There are five key elements that ensure this brilliant idea.
1- I am honest
2- I believe in love at first sight
3- I am hopeless romantic
4- I can't stop thinking of you
5- I am the greatest fan of your life

I am going to tell it to you now because the more I keep it to myself, the more I keep jumping out of my madness. I just wanna scream my lungs out and tell you that I'm head over heels for you! I barely know you, and likewise to you. I know we only met for a short while, but that didn't stop me. I'm either crazy or stupid, but if that's what it takes to make you mine, I don't mind going completely insane and nuts!

Lastly, I've told you how I like you, and I have a huge crush on you. Please open up your heart for me. Please give me a chance to love you. Please give yourself a chance to be loved by someone as cute as me. Please let me play the part in your life.

Always remember, it's better to be absolutely ridiculous, than to be absolutely boring.

It's not perfect but it's honest,

A Hopeless Lover.

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