Tuesday, June 9, 2009

5 Keys To A Successful Relationship

I am no expert in this thing, let alone to tell you what is it in a relationship that we must maintain, or always work on. As most of you know (and shame on those who didn't! Nahh.. Kidding. Keep learning and you'll be come a master yourself *grin*) having a successful relationship takes work from both partners. Great relationships don’t always come easy. If you find the right partner, that’s half the battle. But, no matter how long you’re with that person, you have to continuously work on your relationship and try to find ways you can improve it.

The following are 5 keys to a successful relationship.

1. Communication

I can’t stress the importance of communication enough. If you aren’t able to open up and talk about things, than you don’t have a solid relationship. When people have things on their mind and let them go without discussing it, it usually manifests itself elsewhere.

For example if something your partner said hurt your feelings and you don’t talk about it, you might find yourself getting annoyed at everything they do. You may start nitpicking at them. In reality it’s not those little things bothering you but what they said that hurt your feelings.

Without communication, many of us hold a grudge. Holding a grudge is definitely not productive for a relationship. One important rule about communications is to talk in a respectful manner. Just spewing out whatever is on your mind in any tone of voice is not communication. Talking is great but if you don’t do it with respect, it’s pointless. Also remember to not only talk about things but to be a good listener too.

2. Honesty

Being honest and not lying is crucial to a good relationship. Even “white lies” are not healthy for a good relationship.

Honesty in relationships also means that you don't keep things hidden from your loved ones. When you hide things from your significant other, a parent, or a good friend you are creating a dishonest relationship. Dishonesty can hurt any type of relationship, especially when the other person finds out about the thing you have hidden. Hiding things in your relationships is just another way of being dishonest

When a relationship is not honest it is hard for it to progress and become a great relationship. There is always some paranoia on the dishonest person's side of the relationship. Honesty in relationships can help you be a better person and create a really good relationship.

3. Trust

If you can’t trust your partner, than there’s a problem. You know you’re in a good relationship when you don’t worry about your partner cheating on you. Those thought aren’t on your mind at all. You never worry when your partner is working late. If you find that you’re becoming suspicious of your partner, than that’s not a good sign.

This is often the central concern when it comes to trust in relationships. You can’t build trust if you’re constantly out with your ex or spending a lot of time apart from your person you're trying to build trust with. People notice if you’re constantly checking out other guys or girls when you’re out together or you constantly chat about a particular relationship from your past. By listening to the needs of others and communicating your feelings, you can combat the negative effects of jealousy. Just make sure not to overlook how someone else might feel. Put yourself in their shoes and see how comfortable you feel. Trust takes time, energy and some really soft soles to help you travel the distance.

Trust is like the cement of your foundation. If it starts to crack or crumble, the whole building will be unstable. Your whole relationship will be unstable. So, be worth of trust yourself, seek for trust and you will find that your relationship is stronger and better.

4. Respect

A healthy relationship has a key element of mutual respect for one another. Its okay to disagree but you must respect each others opinions and differences.

For example, respect is demonstrated by our actions, not our words. And when those actions are absent, especially at a trivial or simple level, there is also a distinct lack of respect. In every relationship respect goes hand-in-hand with love and commitment. You cannot love someone you don't respect or are not prepared to commit to, even for a short time. Otherwise you will resent the time spent with them, or spent doing things on their behalf, when you could be doing something else or be with someone else. Neither can you love someone you really do not trust. Once trust is gone, the feelings become superficial as the relationship shifts in terms of both emotion and power. You would no longer respect that person, tending to be suspicious of their actions instead of celebrating and enjoying their presence.

Respect cannot be learned, purchased or acquired - it can only be earned.

5. Dependability

It is important to have dependability in a relationship. Having a partner that is dependable and reliable will give you a great sense of security within the relationship. When times are tough and you hit rocky patches in your life it is important to know that somebody will be there for you.

But, there is a fine line between being mildly dependable and needy or controlling. It is very easy to fall into this trap. So in order to stop feeling needy you have to learn how to truly love somebody. And that means believing in them and having faith in them and trusting them. I am not saying be blind. You should always keep your eyes open and respect yourself and not let someone walk all over you. But if he or she has done nothing wrong, then you are being unfair to her by being selfishly so needy. So start loving your partner.

Some people will definitely argue "It's more than that..." or "These are not the essentials..." or "How would you know..." or "I have my own set of keys..." or whatever. What I can say, "Try and fail, but don't fail to try."

You must find time to try it and experience things, or surrender yourself to self-chosen ignorance.

Dem yuh!

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