Sunday, August 16, 2009

Pictures of My Life

I see my life as I'm drawing picture-perfect artworks. I draw the whole thing, every single details. I draw on white canvas, with black ink pen. I wish to paint these pictures with every colours. Make my life colourful. The most colourful.


Sometimes, I'm out of colours, I have to wait till I get the chance to buy new ones. Sometimes, I'm out of ideas, I have to decide whether to paint red or blue, or any colour for that matter. Sometimes, the colour combination didn't work, but there's nothing I can do but to leave the awkwardness of it, there, forever.

Yes, sometimes I feel like I wanted to change a few colours. Sometimes I wished I didn't paint it that way. Sometimes, I wished I didn't paint it at all and just leave it white.

It's better to not paint any colour and leave it white than painted the WRONG colour. White is not bad too.

Is white considered a colour? Or black?

I don't know.

You see, every decision I made on what to draw and what colour to use, is totally up to me, simply because it's my life. I decide. But sometimes I get distracted and tend to listen to other people's opinion on HOW OR WHAT TO DRAW AND PAINT MY PICTURES OF LIFE. It's not their fault anyway. They can say anything they want, and at the end of the day, I get to decide.

So what if I painted with WRONG colours, wrong combination, wrong everything? Well most to most, no one really wants to look at it because they say it's UGLY. But A FEW people would notice and feel something, I'm sure. These small amount of people are the ones I would let them in my life, and share things with me. These are the real people would would never judge you, but they will look after you and tell you things because they love you and nothing else. The rest, they just want you to paint like how they want it.

And time by time, I find all the pictures very unique. So unique I can look at them for as long as I want to. Not that I'm vain or anything, it's just because the flashbacks make me laugh, well most of the time. Like, "Why the hell did I paint THIS thing this way?" or "I know the best colour for this is _____ (fill), why did I choose this ugly _____ (fill) colour?".

There's nothing you can do with the past. It happened. The only thing you can never take back, and the most precious resource, is TIME. The only thing that can't go back, unless Stephen Hawking manage to build the Time Machine, and if all of us can afford to pay to use it. It would be an expensive hobby, don't you think? "I paid $20 million dollars to go see myself the day I was born." Shit, and you think the doctors will let you in the labour room when you claim you are the baby, 50 years after with that wacky attire (can you imagine what people wear in 2050)? Back from the future?

Shit is ridiculous. Why don't we just let it be and keep painting the future?

Paint it with LOVE

Dem yuh!


Anonymous said...

Life doesn't give you a second canvas. So all you can do is paint on. And, sometimes, even over.

Belle du jour

Budak Nakal said...

Belle du jour...

Interesting name and interesting comment.

There's so many things to say about life. Maybe we can talk more about it.

I'll probably write about "Music of My Life".

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